I am 24 and just completed my 2 year degree. I live with my parents. I came out to them at 22, and it ruined my life. They were angry and hateful and ashamed for a month or two, and now they are just ashamed and in denial. I moved out twice before; when I was 18 I moved out and they tracked me down and guilted me into coming back. Then I moved out of state at 21; there I remained for a few months until one day my father called me and said my mother's health was really getting bad because I was gone and I ended up coming back (it was a lie). About 6 months after this I came out; my parents are not very religious they just guilted me about it and made me feel bad about myself for being bisexual. They said, you're being inconsiderate and embarassing the family; i was destroying everything they had worked their whole lives for. I couldn't afford to move out so I let them pay for my school and I finished my associates. My goal the whole time was that, if I can finish my associate's and go to a 4 year school I will be well off and away from them. I got caught up in the paperwork maze because my school didn't tell me they needed certain items for my transcript until after the deadline. Now I am stuck at home for another 4 months. I wake up every morning and can't move for about an hour; paralyzed by anger. I walk through a joyless life; filled with hate and anger. I can't stand it! I want to leave, but I have no savings, no transportation, and there is no work in my area. McDonalds and stuff is available, but I can't move out unless I buy a car first; all the schools here are at least a 50 mile commute so working and schooling at once will be tricky. I don't know what to do, any tips?
You and I are in the same situation except a few differences. I've been out of the house first week after graduation and couldn't be happier to get away from the family drama. In my opinion, your sexuality is none of their business. I came out to my parents when I was 16 and I've had way worse things happen to me. I find that "destroying everything we've worked for" is a load of bullshit, since I've heard it all before. So if you don't care whether they approve or not, do what I did. Just lie and tell them you were going through a phase and they'll get off your back about it. What they don't know won't hurt them. Of course if you and your parents didn't get along much before then, you'll find that nothing really changes. Get a job, no matter what it is. Work and save as much as you can over the next few months then leave. I don't know how you'll manage a job and attend college at the same time but your employer should help you work around your schedule, I'm guessing.
Sorry to hear your parents are ashamed and in denial. Maybe with enough time they will come around but if they don't it is their loss. Carrying around that hate and anger doesn't help you any though so try to let it go and focus on making your life better. You said you have 4 months before you can return to school. Why not find a job even if it is at McDonalds to pass the time and keep yourself busy? It would get you out of the house and working with others so you're not spending all your time around an unhappy household. Are there student loans, grants or scholarships that you can apply for to help with your education? Any chance you could stay in residence at the school you plan to attend thereby foregoing the need for a car? Life will get better for you so hang in there.
