I'm a 16 year old male, and all of my friends are girls, this is probably because I'm gay and can relate to them better,+ I go to a Catholic HS and there's a large homophobic group - but most people don't care. I really, really want a guy friend, that I an hang out with and do stuff with , normal friend stuff. I'm really lonely honestly and I've never had any friends really, except the girls who are just nice to me and talk to me at school, I'm depressed most of the time so that makes it harder too. I wouldlove to have a guy over atmy house, but my parents are kind of absuive and It would be really awkward since I have terrible social skills and do most things for attention. And I'm kind of scared to rally make a friendship with a guy - idk why :/ Like girls are nice, but I really need a guy friend ---------- Post added 16th Jan 2013 at 10:47 PM ---------- And I get really jealous when I see guys hanging out and stuff as friend, which saddens me
If you want a friend, then go make one. All you need to do is find something you have in common and let it go from there. Just stay calm, be yourself, and don't try to force anything.
You need a hobby that you can share with this new guy friend. Do you like music? That is one thing that can bring people together. Once you have something you like, and can share it with someone, then you can join a club or group, or introduce yourself. Sorry about your home situation. You may have to wait a couple of short years to really spread your wings and fly with other guys. You need a new place to live and new group of people. Maybe a group of girls with some guys in it for starters.
Dare I say it most males (who may not be outwardly homophobic) may be hesitant to be friends if you are quite obviously gay. Think in their position, they start hanging out with a gay guy, they think their friends/parents start thinking they are gay etc, they think that you have other things in mind etc. Whilst it should not matter I agree the cold fact is it probably will. Look through your hobbies, find local groups in the area you could join, do some volunteering...friends come in the strangest of places.
Quite a few gay guys seem to have mostly or almost all girls as friends in high school. Not sure exactly why it works out that way but it's not uncommon. One thing that really helps you is that you acknowledge the social awkwardness and the idea that you do things for attention. So one of the first things you can do is work on both of those. The awkwardness thing, one of the best ways to address it is to talk to one of your closer female friends and ask her to observe and point out when you're doing something that is awkward or inappropriate. (You have to agree, and tell her you're agreeing, that you'll just listen, not argue or justify or disagree, otherwise it won't work.) As far as making guy friends, one of the best choices there is, as others have suggested, to find common activities. That can be a great "icebreaker" in all circumstances, but particularly in high school, the majority of friendships form over common activities. You could join a club that has mostly guys, or participate in some activity where a lot of guys are focused, sports, or science fiction club, or chess club (I realize the last two are sort of nerdy, but... they do also tend to attract a lot more guys than girls.) Finally, since you already have self-awareness about the attention-seeking behavior, work on what your motivations are, and how you can find other, more socially acceptable ways, of connecting with people. And look, too, at the underlying issues that make you seek attention.
I'm really the opposite here : Most of my friends are guys, as is my best friend of which we do a lot together. It you really need to do is just join in a conversation some how to get the ball rolling and work at it. Don't force anything and you should be fine. Just be sociable
Except for abusive home and Catholic part ....you just described my life. I realllllly want some guys to just hang out with! we could in summer go camping and hiking and fishing, if at school we could study and eat together and cheer on our football team. Also you can't talk about stuff with girls about certain things, they just don't get it. I have same sadness when seeing guys I know go hang out with cis-guys and not invite me...and I have put the offer out to do stuff with them. Why do I see them in pix on FB and they don't invite me? :/ ---------- Post added 20th Jan 2013 at 04:10 AM ---------- It is that way at uni too. I see a group of gay men, REALLY gay men, who only have straight women at the table and hanging with them. I think it is they act so effeminate in their cases that it freaks out most straight men, they just feel they have ZERO in common. IN this case, they are also all hearing and talking, which is rude to Deaf, but the women are also hearing. I see no Deaf at their table either. They do not seem friendly to straight men who are Deaf, or do I see any of them or their straight girls wave hey to any Deaf students. I think they are all stuck up. And I think some of them appearing stuck up also is why straight men don't want to be around them. Conversely, I would think a gay man who is not flaming, is not sitting at a table with chicks all the time (appears you only like girls for friends and I often try to sit alone cuz when girls surround me very few men sit with us), is smiling and says hey to others, appears friendly.....they have a better chance and even one guy friend than the guys I mention above.
