Pretty much to make a long story short.. Yesterday I came out to my uncle (pretty much my dad) who I was really worried would react negatively. To my surprise, he reacted perfectly, pretty much repeating "It doesn't matter at all" "I still love you so much" "you are the exact same to me" etc. what any gay guy could hope for. BUT. He is anti-gay marriage. He just believes that they deserve the same exact rights, and benefits, and everything, as a straight couple. But he just thinks it should be called something different, because he thinks that would be better than taking away the meaning of the word marriage. Is this a sign of underlying homophobia? I am obviously over analyzing. It's just that I have heard of many people who have had friendships with people who think the same way as my uncle, and they always end up not working out, because of the fact that they don't support gay marriage. Thought? Do you think that it is a big deal? Does any gay person feel the same way as my uncle?
I think marriage is marriage, whether you have the gay in front of it or not. Let it be, if he told you that he loves you no matter what and your sexuality doesn't change how he feels about you, you should be happy—it's better than what a lot of guys get. If he is homophobic, he really is keeping it to himself and doing the right thing by putting it behind him and only caring whether you're happy or not. I think you shouldn't worry about it, because it does seem that you are over analyzing it!
I actually don't support gay marriage, per se. I don't think the government should regulate marriages/unions at all. It should be a private agreement between two people. If a couple wants to have a religious ceremony and call it "marriage," then they can do so. If the church's beliefs do not allow for same-sex marriage, then it's the church's right to not perform the ceremony and the couple can find another church with different beliefs or they can forget the religious aspect entirely. The agreement between the couple could be a legally binding contract just like a legal marriage, that would require court proceedings just like a divorce. The couple can still call it "marriage" if they wish, but the church can reserve its sanction for marriages that are consistent with its doctrines. I think it is important that Christians and others who don't support gay marriage are allowed to follow their personal beliefs. That was a long explanation of what I believe, but all to say that there are gays (even if I'm the only one) who share similar opinions to your uncle's. Your uncle may or may not have some apprehension about your sexuality, but if he does, it sounds like it's minimal. His response indicates that even if he does has some issue with homosexuality, that he is trying his best to accept you anyway. I wouldn't worry about it. And, btw, congrats on coming out!
