I'm out to my entire school as lesbian. It's the easiest to understand, and explain, and is relatively accurate. But only that. Because in all reality, I am absolutely physically attracted to women. They're majestic. But emotionally, I find myself being attracted to no particular gender. It's more of who I really click with. And I've made it pretty apparent that I'm not fond of penises. But... see here's my problem. For quite a while I've been getting to know this guy, let's call him L. And he's wonderful. Generous. Understanding. Not the least bit judgemental. Funny. Always paying me compliments ("You smell good" was one he liked) and giving me hugs whenever we bump into eachother. I was really getting the impression he was into me, and he was growing on me quite a bit too. So, tonight, at my school sometimes a few people can get together and convince a teacher to let us hang and watch a movie. Well it was one of those nights. A couple of my friends were going to be there, including him. So I decided to investigate something (in case anyone was wondering, we were watching the newest Batman movie) during the movie. We were sitting next to eachother on the floor and we started cuddling a little, I ended up with my head on his lap. He would occasionally rub my shoulders and every time I looked up I would catch him looking down at me. He even petted my hair a few times. Now as we all know, I'm a major cuddler, I thrive off of physical contact of any kind. So does he. When the movie ended, most people left. Me, L, and a close friend of mine (let's call her E) had lots of time to talk outside until our rides showed up. E suggested we play a questions type game to pass the time, and as we went around, and time passed, innocent questions (favourite colours, best scary movies) became more serious and personal (turnons and turnoffs, best dates and worst breakups) and we all kept noticing how my answers and his were always quite similar if not the same. It was getting chilly out, I started shivering a little. I got up and sat in between them, L noticed and put his arms around me. We were all thinking the same thing, but E (of course, haha) was the first to mention it. "I'm sorry, it's just these past few days I've really been noticing... You guys would be really cute together." And so for a few minutes we discussed that... And since they both pretty well understood how my fluid homoflexuality/pansexual tendencies work, he and I decided to go for it. We just sort of sat there on the grass in front of our school for a while after that, holding eachother and E talking about how she wished her gf was there. =3 His ride showed up; a few minutes later mine did also. So now, my main conflict is how to make everyone else understand. My mind is racing right now trying to come up with an easy explanation to give out~ one that doesn't take 15-20 minutes. Because I know how people are, "But I thought you were gay!" or "I knew you weren't really a lesbian!" or "bout time you switched over to the 'right' team!" and I am not sure if I have the best response to any of those... So, suggestions is I guess what I'm asking for. If you took the time to read all of this, I wholeheartedly thank you.
I can honestly say I have never experienced anything like this. But. To me it seems you might just be getting "with" him because your feeling lonely or it's just not working out with the girls right now. He seems like a great guy, and you probably just need someone to attach yourself to so you aren't feeling so lonely. Or, I could be completely wrong, and you really are straight (I have no idea). But if you know your a lesbian, it's probably just a new way for you to connect with someone where there is no sexual pressure or anything like that. I hope this helps, your story just caught my eye so I thought I might add some input
Let me just start off by saying that was really cute! I pictured the whole scenario of you, L, and E, really sounded like something I wish I'd experience. Also, you sort of remind me of my lesbian bestfriend, especially when you mentioned your displeasure for male parts XD Anywho, on to the question/advice. So the school understands that you are lesbian. However, you are now in a relationship with L, correct? You could be in this relationship for any number of reasons. I mean he sounds really nice and considerate of you. Perhaps you yourself aren't sure of your sexuality and maybe this is sort of like a test. To address your main problem with people saying, "I thought you were gay!" and whatnot, in all honesty, it shouldn't matter what they think. But if it really gets to you and you get tired of explaining yourself, just create a summary story of the situation. Like for example, if this would happen to be a test like mentioned above, just claim that. Create a brief answer tailored to your reasons as to why you are dating him. And if people don't believe you, it's their loss. :icon_bigg
You're bisexual! Or more accurately, you are attracted to people, not (just?) genitals. Actually, that might be a good short quip to throw around if you get tired of people bugging you about it. And I agree that was a beautiful situation as i mentally constructed it from your post please dont ever turn down a chance to share love in order to fit a label. Just for me, rejecting defined roles (which includes the lesbian "role") was a big part of coming out to myself. Much love
Just wanted to thank all of you for posting, your advice was extremely helpful. People took the news much better than I had anticipated, using your suggestions. We're very happy. Hugs to all. (*hug*) With love, Ash.
