for almost four years now i have been questioning my sexuality. I'm only 15 so since I was 11. I've just thought that it would pass and I was just going through a phase but lately I've come to realize that I'm probably lesbian. Even though I know that I am inside, I still have a hard time believing that I am. Lately I've really had the urge to just come out but I still question wether I actually am gay even though I know I am! Im scared to come out and then have a crush on a guy! even though i havent been attracted to a guy in years. I told my friend today that I had something really important to tell her so now there is no turning back, I have to tell her tomorrow. I'm just scared out of my mind. I dont think I'll even me able to get it out of my mouth. I'm just so confused! I thought that I had accepted myself but I still cant believe myself about my sexuality! I reallly really really need advice. This is the first time ive ever gotten this out of my head. Do other people feel like this too? Please help Asap!
Hi, I am sure other people feel like this as well. I'm struggling with being Bi (I think) and whilst I feel better for telling a few people I did rush into telling some one and it didn't work out how I had hoped. In the future I think I will be a little more cautious before blurting things out. It might go really well for you when you tell your friend. I don't think you have to speak up today, whilst there might be no turning back you still have time to stall.
I think you should tell her, then if by the slightest chance you start liking boys, you can just say that you were wrong. But I doubt that will happen. You sound lesbian to me.
Okay. Take a deep breath. Clear your mind. I know exactly how you are feeling. For the longest time the idea of me being gay, or even bisexual, really screwed with my head. I couldn't believe it either! I think one of the primary reasons is the fact that since we are born we are raised to expect ourselves to be straight. So trying to accept a different sexuality goes against all the cultural conditioning! But try not to obsess over these thoughts too much. Also, you don't need to worry about finding the perfect label for yourself. Gay, straight, bi, they are only labels used to give a general idea of a persons sexuality - they are not definitions. So if you find that you are mostly into girls, then you could identify as gay. But if one day you do crush on a guy, what would be the problem? You could just find a new label. When I was 15 for the longest time I was trying to decide, am I gay? Straight? Bi? Finally I realized, it doesn't matter! I should just be true to myself - if one day I date a girl and the next day a guy, who cares? Do what makes you happy and don't try to fit yourself into a label. I identify as bisexual because it best describes who I am attracted to, but who knows? Maybe one day I will only like guys, or only girls; then I could change my label to gay or straight if it felt more realistic that way. I really hope that made sense. Edit: I also wanted to say not to worry so much about coming out. I know it is a big move, but the truth is nothing is really going to change; you will still be gay (or whatever your orientation) whether or not you tell your friend, so essentially, telling her simply allows you to determine whether or not she is a true friend. If she can't accept you, then you can do without her anyway. But if she is a decent person then I can't see why something as insignificant as who you find hot would turn her off of your friendship.
