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Bi girl only attracted to older women?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by confused94, Jan 18, 2013.

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  1. confused94

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    So.. I am an 18 year old girl and still figuring out my sexuality. I've had crushes on guys but never a strong emotional attachment so I still don't know If I am gay or bi or what. I do find men sexually attractive though and often seek their admiration but I dont know if I could fall in love with one? I like the idea of lying in bed with a guys arms wrapped around me but i cant imagine feelings the kind of love that I've felt for women. However I've only had intense feelings and love for women much older than me. When I was 5 i felt very emotionally attatched to a school teacher, and again when I was 11. Both were atleast over 30. At 15 I met a woman who was in her forties, straight and married and i accidentally fell in love with her and still have intense feelings for her to this day despite doing my best to not see her. I just crave her company, want her to like me, want to know everythig about her and wish to be a part of her life. However the confusing thing is, I have never had feelings for a girl of my age?? Ever. I dont look at girls and get butterflies or anything. There are female acctresses I have felt attracted to as well but they are usually in there thirties or forties. However I wouldnt call my attraction sexual... i dont desire to sleep with them i just want to be with them and know them. I dont have any mother issues and i just cant understand my orientation but the intensity of my feelings for the woman i loved was so much more than sexual and really it broke my heart so i cant ignore it. I cant imagine feelings like this for a guy so spontaniously. Hmm also sorry about my spelling. Would love to hear your thoughts.
     
    #1 confused94, Jan 18, 2013
    Last edited: Jan 18, 2013
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  2. Rexmond

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    Hi and welcome to EC for starters. :slight_smile:

    I know what it feels like to be attracted to much older people. I'm in the same situation as you in fact, around people my own age I'm fine, but when it comes to older men whom I admire, or am attracted to, I get nervous and all sort of weird things happen. The truth is older men comfort me, and they have more life experiencing so automatically are more empathetic and understanding. It's not the sex that I'm after, but like you I too imagine lying in bed with a man and his arms around me.

    For me this is normal, as for your case it could just be a matter of coming to terms with yourself. You need to find what you're looking for, what makes you happy.
     
  3. Awkward Balloon

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    Hello there :icon_bigg

    I've got pretty similar feelings to you. I'm always crushing on older guys, teachers and actors, but for some reason I don't find lads my age attractive. I'm not sure why this is, I think it's their physical and mental maturity. I don't act like most boys my age so I might feel like I can relate to them better. There's nothing wrong with it, you like who you like and you'll probably just grow into your tastes :slight_smile:
     
  4. va95

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    Hey, I read your posts and I found them impressive. When I was reading them, I felt like I had written those posts by myself. What you described happened to me too, and, you know, it's not such a common thing. I am 18 too.
    Send me a private message if you want, so I can give you my facebook account or my email address. I'd like to talk to you about it. Bye :slight_smile:
     
  5. danielle666

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    everything you just said i completely relate to. i like guys too but ive always have a stronger emotional attachment to woman, especially older ones. i fell in love with my teacher and i think she liked me back, its one long story but i as deeply in love with her. theres just something about a woman that guys dont have, and will never have. woman are just so beautiuful, i always some how seem to fall for them. and i too am 18. msg me if you wanna talk about anything, cause i completely understand. :slight_smile:
     
  6. Surreptitious

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    Your blog fully describes me :tears:
    How are you today?? I'm in the same situation and it's really hars for me :tears:
     
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  7. lovingme4me

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    Gosh I relate. I'm in my 20s and head over heels for a woman in her 40s.
     
  8. Weregild

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    I probably have mother issues, but what I feel for my straight-and-married-with-3-kids boss isn't what I'd call a daughter-mother affection at all. I do find girls my age very attractive, but what I feel for older women is more intense. I don't know what to make of it. We're on the same boat hahah
     
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  9. MW2000

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    Omg this was literally like hearing my own thoughts out loud!!!! I really wish I knew why :frowning2: I once vaguely told my therapist that I felt like this and he thought that it would be because of problems with the relationship with my mum but I don’t think that’s why. Plssss someone tell me the answerrrrr
     
  10. LostInDaydreams

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    Hi @MW2000 and welcome to EC.

    As this thread is several years old, I have locked it. However, you are very welcome to start a new thread and explain your own situation in more depth. This will ensure that you get the most relevant advice and support.

    LostInDaydreams :slight_smile:
     
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