Hate religion

Try not to think about it too much, I think its better to think about the good things you have now rather than the losses, she'll come around eventually, think of that as a definite

 

i guess let her take it in and remind her , you can't change who you are and those people you 'hurting' ..forget them. they are hurt because your with someone you love and care about and your sexual orientation is different from theirs also its apparently bad in god's eyes to be gay.

your you and the religion ...you can still believe in the religion , just not accept the part where it says "homosexuality is wrong"

my thoughts good luck in the future

 

That's sounds like a future prediction of me coming out to my mom. Religion is the entire barrier in my life: Why I haven't come out, my fear of being with another man for life because of a fear of eternity in hell for myself and others, it's why my step-dad sits around calling every gay male "fag" under his breath, etc. I'm not sure how you should handle it, as I haven't exactly experienced that part yet... But I know how you feel and I hope for the best. (Also, you said it would be nice for her to just ask how it has made *you* feel all these years) That's all I want people to ask me too.
<Best Wishes To You>

 

I know how you are feeling. Religion divides up the world and gives people reasons to discriminate. Maybe you could talk to your mom about how you are not choosing to be gay, and that if it hurts anyone it is not your fault.

I wish I could give you more. Not that I don't know where you are coming from; my dad's side of the family is Muslim so...

 

....you know, i look at posts/threads like this and realize just how lucky i am. i was very much raised in the church by my mom who is a minister and is very active in the church, but i have always been very critical of everything and developed my own strong sense of right and wrong that was outside what was taught at church. it was this that allowed me to always be critical of what was being taught to me in church and it was this that allowed me to renounce my religion without the slightest consequence to myself (other than family relations, of course, but i really don't care).

i wonder how it is that leaders, whether leaders of groups, presidents or kings, are always viewed as in the wrong if they rule through fear and yet that's exactly what i see religion as doing and it's perfectly OK according to society. hell, i grew up in a church/community where parents often told their kids "i'll put the fear of god into you!!" i mean, seriously? you want your kids to obey god out of fear? wow.

the above was kind of a tangent, but the living in fear thing.... that's very much what i see in the OP's post, whether the fear (or guilt) be of god directly or of hurting someone else. why is fear used as a noose around people's necks?? it makes me sick.

..............................................anyway, sorry for the blurb/rant! i really do feel for you, OP, and for everyone who is going through situations similar to yours. i hope that you somehow, in your own way, you will be able to find peace in this situation and not regret having come out, even if that peace never makes it to your mom or family. goodluck.

 

Hey OP

Why dont you visit Gay Christian 101 - Affirming God's good news and Bible truth for all GLBTs. to solve your answers about homosexuality and the bible

 

I have a friend who came out as a lesbian to her mum so her mum cicked her out of the house to live on her own. Now she doesn't have a permanent home and she doesn't get to see her siblings or baby cousins.

I hate that religion can be so negative and interfere with every part of everyone's lives, though eventually her mum did take her back. She doesn't like the fact my friend is a lesbian, but she's willing to ignore it to save their relationship. Perhaps the same can happen for you if you give it time.

 

It's hard to believe people still buy into those bigoted and outdated views. I gave up religion due to the fact it just isn't plausible scientifically, but the fact that they hate and judge all sorts of things, to include gay people definitely helped push me further away.

 

I know exactly where you are coming from.

I'm a Christian and I think my biggest battle with myself has always been what religion taught me... I could risk losing friends and family but I didn't want to lose God. I'd rather be single and celibate all my life than have that happen. I don't like the idea of white washing things, I don't like settling for grey areas, it's either right or wrong there's no in between for me.

Over the years I've been soul searching, I've seriously hoped that a miracle would happen and that I'd fall madly in love with a girl and carry on with my life, but that never happened and I doubt it ever will. I'm not willing to lie to myself, so dating girls and getting married in the hopes of turning straight or hiding my sexuality is not an option for me.

Accepting myself and the consequences of that decision when it comes to my faith is one thing, coming clean to my family is another. I hate the idea of disappointing my parents, I hate the idea of squashing their dreams for me and I hate the idea of putting them trough the trauma that I know my sexual orientation and their religion will undoubtedly cause... Hence me still hiding in the closet.

I'm still in the middle of a war that's going on within myself, trying to find the truth and base my future decisions on that rather than what I've been told to believe.

Here's what I've learned the last couple of months...

Religion is man made, it's got nothing to do with faith in God or being a Christian. I could never quite figure out why God would be so cruel as to condemn me for something that I couldn't change no matter how hard I tried and surly living a lie and hurting those around me couldn't be right in His books. I've realised that religion drives more and more people away from God, especially people like me who don't fit the mould of what religion tells us is right and wrong. Religion causes pain, drives people into despair, self loathing, depression and suicide. Religion causes people to judge each other, condemn each other, hate each other and in extremes kill each other.

I've realised that Jesus preached the exact opposite of what religion is teaching us. He taught us to love each other, to forgive each other and to accept each other. He instructed us to help each other and not to judge each other. Judgement is reserved for God, and if we judge others we can be sure that we will be judged by God for that one day. No one is without sin, each one of us is a fallen creature and need Gods forgiveness which we can receive trough Jesus who paid the ultimate price for our sins. That's for me, for you and everyone else whether you are straight, bi, gay, pink, purple, black, white, a guy or a girl, woman or a man it doesn't matter.

I personally love God but hate religion and all the pain it's caused not only in my life but in all the lives of millions of people over hundreds of years. If I go back in history and look at the evil deeds that's been done, all in the name of religion I can't help but come to the conclusion that its wrong. And if its wrong and its been wrong for hundreds of years then I am very sure that a lot of what religion has been preaching is wrong too.

And so, for me, it's about questioning everything and digging trough research to find the truth and not what organised religion is trying to sell as the truth. My eyes where opened when I worked on a project that required me to compare Bible verses from different translations and time periods. I realised that each Bible had its own interpretation and that things were not as clear cut as I was made to believe.

For one I know without a doubt that the Old Testament never talked about homosexuality in Sodom and Gomorrah, that it was all about gang rape and being inhospitable to strangers.

Furthermore the laws in Liviticus no longer applies to us as Christians. Referring to those laws are the same as saying that you are not allowed to eat shellfish, that you have to put to death children who don't obey their parents etc.

Then there's the New Testament, in Romans 1, Paul is referring explicitly to idol worship that included sexual rituals, it had nothing to do with sexual orientation or relationships. Somehow the context just got lost in what Religion tries to teach us... So the argument there doesn't hold water for me anymore.

In 1 Timothy 1:9-10 and in 1 Corinthians 6: 9-11 the different Bible translations are all over the place as to the meaning of the original Greek words. And looking at the research done it looks more credible that reference in 1 Timothy was made to male prostitutes, men who sleep with them, and the men who traded with them. And in 1 Corinthians again to male prostitutes and the men who sleeps with them. So for me there's huge question marks here.

Then there's Matthew 19:3-12 that no one talks about. Here Jesus talks about Eunuchs. The meaning of the word Eunuchs referred to men who couldn't have sexual relationships with women, either because they where born that way (born without a penis / Gay?), made this way by men (castrated / sexually abused?), or made themselves Eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven (celibacy?) Jesus then says that let the one who is able to receive it, receive it... This portion of the Bible can be argued and interpreted in the same manner that Timothy and Corinthians can be debated... And yet it's not, why not???

Finally...

The most important laws according to Jesus is to love God with all your heart and then to love your neighbour as you love yourself...

To not judges others...

I think I wrote way too much here, but i have a point that I wanted to make with some advice to give.

Right now your Mom has been thrown into the deep end. She only knows what she has been taught and according to that, her son, who I can guarantee you she loves with all her heart, is eternally doomed to go to hell. She undoubtedly don't want that for you and she is desperate to save you. She has had no reason to question her religion until now... And he will need to find the truth for herself.

You can help her come to terms with it by gently pointing her in the right direction.

word of a woman

Go have a look on this lady's blog, she has a whole study on God and Homosexuality that might be of great value to yourself and your mother.

 

Honey, I'll ask you right now that if they're too selfish to think about what you want for just one moment and quit being impudent and ignorant as to what they 'think' homosexuality is, then how is that your fault?

 

well, I am not completely sure, but from my church upbringings, they seems to have a premise that...

if a person don't have religion and act freely, they will do batshit insane immoral things.

which that isn't always true...

 

I think the people who use the Bible to bash homosexuality would be doing it anyway even if they were atheists! The Bible is about love,praising God and not hurting others but it has always been used by people to push their own hidden agendas. There were even times when it was used as an agrument to promote slavery and beat the left handed until they wrote with the "proper hand".

[YOUTUBE]ezQjNJUSraY[/YOUTUBE]

This video about a thorough study of the Bible by Matthew Vines left me absolutely speechless as it disarms the agruments people use against monogamous homosexuality. What God asks us to do is simple - don't hurt others and try to help them as best you can.

 

Perhaps my experience is a 'good' contrast:
I am an atheist. My parents are both atheist. My Grandparents are both atheist
All my friends bar 1 are atheists (the 1 friend of mine that's christian says he loves me because I bring confectionary to maths class for everyone and is hardly a 'rituous' person) or display no interest in any kind of spirituality. That's just how it is in this part of England.
As my 'out status' says, everyone knows I'm gay and every single reaction I've had from my friends and relatives have been positive and supportive and generally "Yeah cool, here's a few questions, and life goes on.".

I have to disagree with the people saying the Bible is about love and compassion. I'd suggest reading it with an objective point of view as I have and not choosing to ignore what it says about certain things because you don't like them and then judging if you accept what it says and if you think it's 'good'.

Being as the Bible is full of contradictions, I wouldn't worry to much, but maybe I'm saying that because I don't take it as seriously as you might. If your god would send you to hell for being gay, maybe he isn't worth worshipping/believing in.

Oh and it was written over 1500 years ago so no, don't worry.

As for your family I'm afraid I can't really offer much advice as I have no experience in this. I can only wish you all the best.

 

To the OP: Your Mom will have to make the same choice I forced on mine. She can either accept you as you are, or she can lose a son. There are not many parents in the world who would choose an archaic pack of lies over their child.

I just hope that your parents come to their senses before too much pain is caused on either side. I am so sorry you have to put up with this, but stick by your guns. You are who you are; you can be no one else.

Anyone who thinks your coming out hurts them is serious deluded. As hard as it may be, do not put up with any more guilt trips, you need to give an ultimatum. After all, this is your life and not hers.