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Do parents generally know if you're gay?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Different, Jan 19, 2013.

  1. Different

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    Hey everyone!

    Just to make it clear I'm a 17 year old girl. Ever since I could pick my own clothes 3 or 4 I always leaned towards dark tshirts and cargo pants. As I grew up I still dressed like a tomboy. I hated the color pink, nail polish, earings, makeup, refused to wear a dress, or girly bikini to the beach. I would rather wear my loose plain gray tshirts, some cargo shorts, sneakers, and when I went to the beach I preferred boy swim trunks and a swim shirt.

    At recess throughout middle school I was the only girl who stood out. I looked like a guy: the way I dressed, my interest in all thing sports and my willingness to kick the crap out of the guys at flag football.

    I don't know. I feel like my mom always knew I was different because of all these oddities. I think she might know, but she has never flat out asked me. So I want to know: do you think parents usually know if their child is gay?
     
  2. Sayu

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    Reading this thread was like reading my own mind :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: Yeah, I think that parents in general do know on some level that something is going on with their child and and that they might be gay. Well, unless you are totally non-stereotypical homosexual or trying to hide it (dating the other sex). I don't suppose that my mum will be surprised when I get to the point when I come out to her. Yet, I am still pretty effing scared to do that :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  3. WeAreYoung

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    I totally thought my mum knew, but when I came out she was completely shocked and told me I couldn't possibly be gay!! In fact, she said she knew there was something wrong, but she thought I might be pregnant or something :lol:
     
  4. Lewis

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    I wish my mum knew and would just ask me! I've never had a real girlfriend, I was into 'feminine' things as a child (I had a barbie!) and she knows that I was bullied at school. Surely she can put two and two together.

    My parents are my final barrier.
     
  5. Van

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    I don't really know... parents have known you for the longest time but still, I'm not sure if they know and act like they don't know or they just generally have no clue.
    I still can't belive my mom thinks I'm straight. I always give hints and so, but still nothing. She asks me about girls. She just thinks that I'm super open minded and that's why I always have to give my opinion on racism and homophobia. Yesterday she saw my bracelets and asked me to make one for her, too. But she doesn't even know what those rainbow bracelets mean. And today while she was cleaning my room I saw in her hand one of my books "My coming out - stories of LGBT people" but I'm not sure if she noticed it. Ugh, I always wait for her to start the conversation or just to ask something, but she never does, she has not a clue.

    Anyway, I think she'll know pretty soon cuz I want to go at the pride this year. :grin:
     
    #5 Van, Jan 19, 2013
    Last edited: Jan 19, 2013
  6. returning

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    I don't think so. My mother was shocked
     
  7. Stridenttube

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    My mom told me after I came out that she had thought I might be gay for several years because I never had a girlfriend. My dad says homophobic stuff all the time and gets excited anytime I say anything about a girl. So either he knows and is hoping I'm really not or really just wants me to get a girlfriend. I'd say for the most part parents have somewhat of an idea that you might me gay.
     
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  8. Nepenthe

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    Mine were kind of clueless. My mom's exact reaction was: "Really?? I never would have suspected." short pause "I don't know why."

    Me either, Mom. Me either. I slipped up and made it painfully obvious often enough :lol:
     
  9. LEZmis4

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    I haven't come out to mine, but I think they'll be shocked. I wish my mom would just ask, though...even if she's just throwing I out there to be funny. I'd jump all over that. We'll see...my resolution is to tell them by year's end...
     
  10. MysticalFantasy

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    Yeap, but my mum chooses to ignore it.

    See im quite like you when i was the child but then i turned a bit more feminine and dressed like a girl just so my consevative mum wouldnt be suss, as i became an adult.

    so im a pretty tomboyish femme and i still hate wearing dresses skirts, earrings nailpolish but i do it just to make my mother happy.
     
  11. channel48

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    My mom had a hunch before I told her cause I wasn't interested in boys and she's bi herself so that may have helped. I actually asked her if she suspected that I was gay cause before I told her I talked about my friend that I had a crush on a lot and she'd always give me a look like she knew I liked her.
     
  12. Hot Pink

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    My mom and dad knew ever since I was a kid that I was trans, but they never told me. They admitted to using some techniques to "make me a boy." Obviously they didn't work. They didn't know that I liked women until I told them, though. They just assumed I liked men because I was a girl.
     
  13. Niko

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    My mom thought I was Lesbian. Boy did I prove her wrong. xD
    My dad claimed that he knew I was trans when I came out to them, so maybe he did. Other than that I have no idea, I guess it depends on the parent and the situation.
     
  14. koilfong

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    im pretty sure my parents question it to a certain extent and try to repress the idea. then they continue to push people on to me.
     
  15. BradThePug

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    I think that some parents have an idea. I don't think that all parents know though. When I told my mom, she kind of sighed. So, I think that she knew and I just confirmed what she thought that she knew. (if that makes any sense.)
     
  16. Chickenlover

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    My mom guessed. All my life she told me that she had no idea which way I would go. When I told her she sighed and said "I thought so".
     
  17. Kay

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    I think parents know but decide to deny it even to the point that when you do come out it's a shock. I don't see how it is possible for them to be ignorant when you describe the way you dress and probably act.
     
  18. WallyO

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    My parents are divorced, and I came out to my mom first. She was really shocked and didn't know how to react, but I think she took it well. Today she treats me like she always treated me, like a son.
    A few weeks after I told my mom I grew some balls and told my dad and stepmom. Well I told my stepmom earlier in the night, then told my dad.My stepmom was really happy for me, and didn't seem so surprised by me coming out. When I told my dad I expected a s#it show, but he was cool with it, and even said that hes had a feeling I might be gay since I was a kid. This kinda shocked me, because he was always asking me about women, and when I would find a girlfriend; as well as making an occasional gay joke. I was never brave enough to tell him I wasn't interested in women, and that it was rude to belittle people of a different orientation, but now he knows better. The reason I don't think my mom expected it was because I wasn't with her nearly as much as my dad when I was growing up.
    Every time I thought about coming out before I actually did, I expected my mom to say that she knew, and my dad to freak out and hate me. But the way it happened totally makes sense looking back on my childhood.
     
  19. Lewnatic

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    No, I don't think they do. It would be helpful if they did, and I'm sure some do, but generally...no. I think they're oblivious.
     
  20. Calico

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    I reckon mine have absolutely no idea, especially because when I was younger I was really girly and pretended to have crushes on guys (peer pressure works in ridiculous ways). So when I tell them the reaction will probably be "you're not serious" and "a lot of kids nowadays go through a homosexual phase dear..... So are you really sure?"To which my answer would be: :bang::tantrum::eusa_doh::dry: