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Is this a test??

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by FML78grl, Jan 19, 2013.

  1. FML78grl

    Regular Member

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    Questioning
    Out Status:
    A few people
    So today is the day my gf and I break up. It's been a hard road trying to be a single parent and be in a long distance relationship. So we decide to call it quits for awhile. Let life take its course and see where we land when things get more settled. I find out she has been courting another woman and that hurts. But what hurts more is she threw a man at me. She knows I am bi (or I think I am) and I am wondering, is this a test? Is she testing me? We don't get a lot of time together and we haven't had sex since after Thanksgiving. She knows I'm a very physical person. And not having sex for months has driven me crazy! But I just seem to feel like it was sort of degrading. And maybe it was a way to assauge her guilt. But it made me feel like something dirty. Am I wrong? I don't want random sex I want her. I have had soo many confused feelings since I've been with her. But I never doubted that she was the one I want to be with. Now I'm feeling like I'm not worthy of feelings. Like random sex will make things all better. Like that will make up for the foul way things have gone down. It's very hard for me to be angry as I feel betrayed. Not only in our relationship but in the way she thinks of me. Or is this her way of testing me? To see if I'm going to take the bait and go back to men? Does she not know me at all? Ugg!
     
  2. alex408

    Regular Member

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    Hey FML78grl,

    Sorry to hear about your breakup. ((((Hugz)))) How is/are your kid/s? This would be a good time to focus on what you do have. Long distance relationships are ok for a little while. How long have you two been apart from each other? Maybe you and your ex needed to make the next move which would have been to relocate somewhat closer?

    On whether or not this is a test or not. It all depends on your outlook with regard to your relationship. Personally, i sometimes think our whole lives can be viewed as a test. Having said that, I also think that looking at life, or in your case your relationship as a test, can be counter productive.

    Good luck and best of wishes to you and your children.

    -Alex
     
  3. FML78grl

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Questioning
    Out Status:
    A few people
    The kids are dealing with it as we didn't live together. They saw her as much as I did. It will be difficult I'm sure for them. But at the end of the day I have always been their constant. Their stability. So that will remain. And as tough as it is, I have to focus more on moving forward. Not staying stagnant. I appreciate the kind words. I do.