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Should i move out?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by blikeo, Jan 19, 2013.

  1. blikeo

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    hey, well tonight my mother, my brother and I were standing in the kitchen talking and my mother asked me to not use the gas stove when she was not around. I asked her why, and told her that I had been using them for longer than she had(I had used one at my dad's for 10 years, she has been using one for 2 years). My brother interjected and said that I was disrespecting her and I should just do what she said, he then went on about how I dont do anything around the house. I made the point that though i am 18 and he is 24, i pay rent, he does not, I go to UNI, he dropped out, I help my mother financially when she needs me to, he never gives her anything. He started yelling louder and calling me names, I then told him it was none of his business anyway, and to butt out. he got angry and charged me into a wall, I pushed him off of me, got on top of him and started punching him in the face repeatedly. My mother and godmother pulled me off of him, and told me to just leave for a few hours, so I did, I came back about an hour ago and talked with them, and they think I am in the wrong, and that I don't do enough. I told them that they hold my brother and I to different standards. She disagreed and I told them that i will probably move out, as i have a friend who says i can stay with him until i can transfer to a UNI near my dad's place. my mom says she wishes i wouldn't, but that I am being selfish. I think that they are just expecting way too much from me, and i am driving myself into a debt hole.

    Background information:
    me, 18
    I make about 800 dollars a month
    i attend 18 credit hours at college
    i pay my mom 250 dollars a month for rent
    i buy my own food, detergent, and other personal items
    i pay for my own insurance, car, and gas.
    I'm having to take out about 2000 dollars in personal loans a semester to make it.

    my brother, 24
    My brother makes 1800 dollars a month
    does not attend college, he dropped out.
    pays no rent
    buys his own food, but uses my detergent, soap, etc....
    my mom bays for his insurance, gave him a car, and helps him on gas
     
  2. SOULkitchen

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    Unless your brother is retarded I think he is fully aware of your moral superiority to him in regards to your family's affairs. So just ignore anything he says. As for your family situation, I think that if you want to move out, give it a shot... I have lived with friends before too, although I was younger. One thing to keep in mind is that even if it may not seem like it at first, it is possible to overstay your welcome with friends. Make sure you have some sort of independent living plan when you move in with a friend so you don't become a burden on them - unless of course you live at university in the near future.

    This situation reminds me of my family - stupid little nitpicky things set off flames of anger, and the real issues are largely ignored.
     
  3. shovelman

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    That's so freaking unfair man! you shouldn't have to put up with that, if you have the chance to move out I suggest that should do it but leave it as a last resort. Listen man parents can be freaking annoying and well... stupid at times but you should talk to your mom in private so that no one intersects and you can get a clear answer from her, let her know what's going on from your perspective and how it's making you feel unless you have already made up your mind and want to just move out of there which is fine but try not to leave anything unresolved trust me it sucks!
     
  4. blikeo

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    Well, my mom made the decision for me, we got in another fight this morning and she kicked me out. Just got to my friends, this is a giant mess, sometimes family can be a burden.
     
  5. MysticalFantasy

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    It is very clear who your mother's favourite is right mow.

    im sorry you had to get into an argument with your brother. Violent males who do not have an intelligent brain nor a kind heart have no other means then to show off their macho side.
    And brutally attack others to show strength in the other ares of which they lack of.

    however does your brother do any form of maintenance i. The house? Or chores? On that note do you as well? Though you support financially sometimes parents like to get best of both worlds. Financial assistance and doing chores. Which is unfair.

    i suggest you to move out. Youre old enough and dont require bull crap like this.

    all the best to you buddy :slight_smile:
     
  6. mothcaterpillar

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    If you can properly afford to move out then you should at least look into it
    the older child seems to get away with not paying rent while the younger child has to
    (money/ rent wise a friend of mine is on the same situation but their brother is moving out soon)
     
  7. Van

    Van
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    You'll be ok, honey. (*hug*)