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My friend won't believe me

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Moomookitty, Jan 19, 2013.

  1. Moomookitty

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    Ok I came out to my friend as gay in September and she immediately thought that I was probably confused but I know 100% I'm not and iv explained that to her before and she won't believe me so what should I do? I don't know what to do to make her understand
     
  2. TKM

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    Kiss a dude in front of her?:dry: Honestly man that's rough, I know it can be really agrivaiting, just bring it up whenever you can and maybe she'll get the picture, or sometimes it's just good to let things go for a while and give it a break shell come around she can't ignore it and refuse to beleive it forever and if she still doesn't understand well... I think you know what would be best for you, and not hang out with her anymore. You could also sit her down, if you haven't already and explain to her that you are a 100% positive and you aren't going to change your mind.
     
  3. jargon

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    Usually its less about "understanding" in a logical kind of way, and more about being emotionally resistant for one reason or another. I knew one girl who refused to believe a friend of hers was gay because she'd had a crush on him before he came out to her. Obviously this doesnt mean your friend has a crush on you necessarily - maybe she has mixed opinions about homosexuality, or maybe she's worried about some people treat gay guys in the world.

    Its pretty surprising if you came out to her in September and she still doesnt believe it though - has she said anything to explain why she doesnt believe you?
     
  4. Moomookitty

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    Ok I'll try to just tell it straight to her again and also I don't wanna stop hanging out with her because we've been best friends for 6 years so ill keep trying. Thanks :slight_smile:

    ---------- Post added 19th Jan 2013 at 11:17 PM ----------

    Well again she we've been best friends for 6 years and she just said after seeing you grow up i could never see my best friend as gay and she clearly doesn't have a crush on me trust me also iv always seen her as really supportive of lgbt people like we actually hanged out at the mall today and saw a gay couple holding hands and one of them were really hot :wink: but she was like aww thats sooo cute but yeaa she is very supportive
     
  5. jargon

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    OK, so she said: "after seeing you grow up i could never see my best friend as gay"

    My guess would be that even though she isnt against homosexuality, she just doesnt know that much about it. She's seen gay stereotypes on tv and maybe even known an effeminate gay guy or two that meets all of those expectations. Maybe she just hasnt realized yet that not all gay guys are like that, and she can't tell what your orientation is by any other aspect of your personality. Again, just guessing of course bc I dont really know her personally, but that's a possibility.
     
  6. Moomookitty

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    But the thing is when I met her i was very shy but now I'm not shy at all because of her and my personality is alot like hers and has been influenced alot by her because I constantly talk, I'm always embarrassing myself, also I don't take things personally and I don't care what negative things people have to say about me, I'm always laughing, and I don't really try to hide that I'm gay.
     
  7. Chip

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    She's probably got a secret crush on you, and accepting that you're gay means letting go of the idea you might someday be together. That's pretty common.

    I think the solution is to just gently reinforce that you're gay, you've never been and never will be attracted to women, and it's important to you that she accept that.
     
  8. remainnameless

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    Well, when you don't date a girl, or you get in a relationship with a guy and she doesn't think your doing it for attention or whatever, she might start to get a hint. So really, let time go by and when you don't change your mind, she might be convinced.