Hi, I am new to this. I had a few flings with girls years ago, but have never considered myself to be gay. I currently live with my male partner and we have a son. Few months back I really fell for a women. I approached her, which was probably very stupid thing to do! I just did this because I knew she liked me, despite her appearance of being straight. Her response was guarded, but she did acknowledge that she also had a crush on me, but that there was no future to it. Now she won't take my calls and I'm worried it's because I embarrassed her/she was repulsed or she just needs to stay away from me because she can't handle it. Either way I am confused, hurting and feel lonely as I can't really talk to anyone about this. I know that I am not straight, and have felt a great relief in admitting this to myself, but at the same time this opens up a massive can of worms! Has anyone else been through anything like this?
I'm going through a similar crisis right now, but I'm married with three children. I always knew I wasn't exactly straight, but now I'm beginning to wonder whether I might be gay and not bi. My mate and I would spend evenings together getting drunk and she flirted so much that I thought she must be just like me - despite knowing she had never even kissed another woman. One evening I couldn't take it any more and I kissed her - she didn't stop me, but the next day she said it couldn't happen again. I have since separated from my husband and she has kissed me - very passionately - several times since. Every time she does it she then goes on to ignore me for a couple of weeks until I manage to push her into seeing me again. I'm so confused and hurt by what she does, but I keep going back for more. I am lucky, as I have managed to confide in friend who knows both of us, but she doesn't know what to do either. I feel like I have lost a good friend and that's what hurts most. I think she's probably confused by her own actions, but as she doesn't talk to me I wouldn't know. I know this doesn't help you, but at least you know you're not the only one feeling shut out by a friend for something you couldn't help.
Hi, thanks it does help knowing you are not alone. I know exactly what you mean about the going back for more even though I know it will result in more hurt. I just can't stay away! It sounds like your friend is confused about what she wants, I think it sounds like she likes you and she is struggling with it, hey who doesn't? My friend won't really talk to me about it either, which makes it worse. Have had mixed messages which keep me thinking that things might change but deep down I know they really won't. I'm going to join a community group, hopefully it will provide a good distraction.
OMG! I wrote her a letter today to try and explain things and just got dumped! I really thought she was better than that! What do I do without my best mate? I would have done anything for her. I feel sick.
