Now this might sound ridiculous but to me this is very serious and I feel like it is a major thing that is holding me back from truly accepting myself as well as being happy. I have gotten to the stage that I have come to realize that I am a lesbian and I am okay with that, but I have a serious worry that being gay is going to stop me from being happy and I will have a lonely life. This doesn't just come from no where, I have a auntie that is also gay and she sadly did the whole not accepting it, getting married, having kids and then coming out in order to be with the woman she has loved for years thing. Now I am not disappointed in her but I do think she could have dealt with it better, however I also know that sometimes these things happen. She has with out me realizing become my role model because everyone she is friends with is accepting of her and our whole family is too, I also have friends and half of my family accepting of me. My aunties happily ever after didn't work and now she is alone, she has no partner and just her whole life now isn't as good as it could be. This is what I am very worried about when it comes to me being gay, I feel like fully accepting and actively being gay is going to cause me to have no one to love, no family to have and my whole life is just not going to be as happy as I want. These thoughts have made me very reluctant to fully accept myself as who I am and has also made it so I not living my life as I should such as having hope of finding someone to love and not coming out to everyone. I really try to tell myself that being gay doesn't mean my whole life is going to be bad as well as saying being gay doesn't mean my whole life is doomed but I really feel like it is. I would very much like some help and support in what I am dealing with because I am finding it hard to be happy about myself and fully accept myself. Please help and thanks
what does having a good life entail for you? its different for everyone. some people it might mean having children, some getting married, some having a relationship, some having good friends they can rely on, some helping others. its different for everyone. in life it isnt usually fair, life doesnt deal us a fair hand. it deals us a good amount of downs as well as ups. its how you deal with those downs and possibly alone times that help you get through things. a good life doesnt mean you have to have xyz. it doesnt mean you have failed at all if you end up single. you just have to make the most of the situation you are in and hope for the best, it doesnt mean failure as you never know whats around the corner. good things come to those who wait. and usually the most unexpected things lie around the corner. being a lesbian isnt the end of the world. many lesbians are out in the world too. youre 17. not old at all, youre still mega young. you will probably meet many women in your life and many men also. you will make friends and maybe lose some. you might meet the love of your life through a friend. who knows? its not easy and i dont have any magic words of advice but accepting yourself for who you are seems like the first step in living your life the way you want too. again i cant say what that will be like as everyone has a diff accepting process, but it will get easier as time goes on and you become more confident in yourself im a bit tired so sorry if this is a bit long winded and maybe off topic. :|
If you're a lesbian you can still fall in love like everyone else and a family is still possible. Sure it's not quite the same and a bit difficult but adopting kids is always a possibility. You can live a happy life with anyone if you decide to make it that way. Don't feel doomed or trapped, love who you are and find someone who's right for you. But to have a truly happy life I do think you need to come out officially(a bit hypocritical from me since I haven't, but still). It'll start out a little rough but in the long run you can be more open and proud of your relationships! I'm sure you'll find someone who'll love you just as much as you'll love them! Good luck and embrace the true you!
It's okay I am tired too You are right as well about life basically being a roller coaster (I hate roller coasters as well ) I also know being a lesbian doesn't decide fate but to me it feels like it for some reason. I also know accepting yourself isn't easy, maybe things will be better when I feel more comfortable about myself. Thanks for the advice, I appreciated it ---------- Post added 20th Jan 2013 at 04:01 PM ---------- You are very true about everything especially coming out to everyone but it is scary and hard to find the courage, I will do it though little by little. I have a great family and some friends that are very supportive as well that will be there for me to do it though Thanks for your advice and help.
Good advice. I'm the same age as you OP, and I'm a lesbian too! Do I feel doomed? Nah. Life has unexpected turns and curves, and you'll never know what will happen or what's waiting for you around the corner. I might meet my girlfriend tomorrow or my future wife in a few months, or even years or that may be 10 years. Nobody knows what tomorrow brings. At least you can recognize that your aunt didn't exactly make the best choices and she might (key emphasis on might) had lived a better life, but since you know, now you recognize the choices you should make so you can fulfil your own. Again, we're both practically kids in the playpen compared to the duration of life and what we're gonna experience as time goes on. You're not doomed and neither am I.
Your words are very true and strangely enough these are the things I say to others but not myself. I think I need to view my life more positively and just roll with the punches From now on I am going to make an effort to see life more positively and try to make the best of what I have. Thanks for the advice, I really needed a slap on the head I think and you have given it to me in the nicest way possible
I feel pretty much doomed for being gay, but for some similiar reasons and some different ones. First off, I have been raised to believe that all LGBT go to hell. But besides that, I have other reasons. If I were to come out in the future, be accepted, and somehow convince myself God doesn't condemn gays (I doubt that will happen tho) I will still be unsure. I will be unsure for the reasons that you said, what with struggling to find a long lasting relationship, etc. But I agree with the other commentors, you can never know what is waiting for your around the bend. For me, I think if I were to adopt kids, I could be happy. I think gays can try to find happiness instead of completely depending on a relationship for happiness (although of course I'm still trying to convince myself all this), you might just need to find other things that will fulfill you, ranging from a family to a faith. It all depends on what you make of it :/ I hope this helps, I kind of threw a bunch of stuff out there
Asnflyinhernikes said, youre very young. And you'll probably have lots of time for love (assuming no crazy accidents or illness). And im sure you'll fall for many a person, and you'll probably get your heart broken a few times. But that's ok I've been out and proud for almost 10 years now, and I went through a few rough patches, but overall, Im happy. Because I'm happy with me. You gotta learn to love yourself before you can truly love anyone else. And I guarantee you that once you fully accept and love yourself, you'll find it easier to be happy without external influence
