I don't know what to do anymore im starting to give up on everything again

Although I'm not transgendered, I understand your feelings.

I am very jealous of fully-out gay men. Most of my friends are in relationships, or have had meaningful relationships.

I feel so sorry for you! I know you want the connection with people. But just because your friends don't get it doesn't mean they don't love you. I'm over getting my friends to understand. They won't. But they love me! Take that and run with it.

Don't get up. People are here for you. I am, and I am very sure many people (including transgendered folks) will find you and discuss their issues.

I'm not sure how old you are, it you seem fairly young.

You'll get tips on ways to live. I can suggest birth control for the periods.

You will be ok. Our lives and our paths aren't easy, but it's so important that you want to make a difference!

 

Hi. I saw your post and it broke my heart.

Your feelings are completely understandable and, even though I'm not an FtM, I get what you're saying. For a long time, I hated my body. I looked at myself and hated every bit of it. With time, I learned to accept myself as different from other people.

I too have never been in a relationship, so I sometimes fear that I will be forever alone. The only thing that people like us can do is think positive. Think about all the successful FtM's in the world!

Please don't hurt yourself anymore. Someday, I am sure that things will get better. If you can, I think you should join an LGBT support group. It can really make all the difference.

 

It's hard, and you shouldn't have to accept the hate, but for now, you have to. What keeps me going is thinking that the world is changing the fit the needs of LGBT people, not the other way around!

 

Okay I got it, I'll switch bodies with you

 

Glad I could get you to smile

For real though I think that's the key, just take life a little less seriously. Just be as much you as you can get away with whenever you can. It sucks missing out on all that stuff in high school, not gonna lie, but life does get a lot better when you get out of high school despite all the "best years of your life" bologna you're getting now. Think about having your own apartment with no one around to judge you.

And be nicer to yourself, will ya? Instead of cutting those arms, why not go through the same pain and lift some weights? Nothing wrong with starting small and working your way up. And I think you'll be happier with the way your arms look.

 

There will definitely be women who will date you. There will be women who are attracted to you regardless of what you have and haven't done as far as transitioning, although they may be different women at different times.

There are even women for whom ftms are their preferred partners. Some exclusively date ftms.

Sometimes, your own hangups might get in the way of your relationships, though. For example, if you think anyone who likes the body you have must see you as female, and therefore you refuse to date them, then it will be difficult for you to find partners. It's possible for a person to respect your gender identity and still like your body as it is. The fact that you feel like those parts are "female" doesn't mean your partner also does. Accepting and supporting your gender identity does not entail thinking your body is different than it actually is.

Gender identity is invisible. Therefore, anyone who is attracted to women is also sometimes attracted to transgender men. Acknowledging this attraction does not change one's sexual orientation, and does not mean that they think the transgender man is a woman (unless, of course, they are actually unaware of his gender identity). Particularly before you start taking testosterone (assuming you do) many (though not necessarily all) of the women who are attracted to you will also be attracted to women. Please do not abuse lesbians for the horrible crime of thinking you're hot exactly as you are. It is not her fault that you have girl parts, or that she likes girl parts, and she is fully capable of being attracted to your girl parts while understanding that they don't make you a girl. Try not to project your dysphoria onto other people. If you have issues about your body, that's your issue. (This isn't to say that lesbians are never transphobic, or that they will all accept your gender identity, just that being attracted to you does not constitute not accepting your gender identity. Some lesbians will "see you as a woman," whatever that means, given that gender identity is not outwardly perceptible, but just liking your body does not amount to that.)

There are issues when lesbians and transmen date, and it's between the two of you whether it's something you want to pursue. It's fine if you don't want to date lesbians. Just don't suggest that thinking you're hot is somehow disrespectful of your identity. And maybe recognize that if you refuse to date the people who are attracted to you, basically because they are attracted to people who look like you and have similar bodies to you, you aren't going to get a lot of dates. But it isn't because nobody is attracted to you, it's because you refuse to date the people who are.

If you take testosterone, your features will start to masculinize, and then more people who are attracted to masculinized features will be attracted to you. Many straight women will not care about your genitals if they are attracted to you otherwise. Women generally do not care nearly as much about penises as men do. Even women who think hypothetically that it would be a problem for them sometimes find that they are mistaken--sometimes they just have to get used to the idea in the context of a real person. Many cisgender people are unfamiliar enough with transgender people that they would think a transman would continue to look a lot more like a typical female than they usually do.

Anyway, the demographics of who is attracted to you are likely to change as much as you do. But there will always be women who are attracted to you. And of course there will be some people who are primarily attracted to characteristics that will not change when you transition, although these may be a minority.

And women will totally understand about having your period. Seriously, that is not really an issue. I mean, it is understandably an issue for you, but it will not be an issue for your partners.

You are very distressed about your body, and because of that the idea that someone else might like it is difficult for you to grasp. But it's still true. People can accept and support your gender identity and still think your body is fine as it is. You are the one who doesn't like it, not other people. And you are the one with this severe feeling that it's unacceptable for you, as a guy, to have those body parts. There is no reason to assume that your partners will feel that way. There are plenty of people who won't.

 

You're right, but the catch is, you and I are people too, and you're gonna screw up one day and say something to someone else that's ignorant too. Don't ever let yourself be a doormat, but sometimes you've gotta give people slack. It's like Chris Rock said, " why spend the next 20 years in jail cause somebody smudged your Pumas".

It's also really hard for girls specifically to pick out gay girls, because "woah two chicks" is a big thing, and a lot of straight girls... well here be dragons, because some of them are genuinely exploring and have something to find, but the point is it gets really complicated. Guys have different challenges. The difficulty on the guy end from my experience is more on the receiving side of the attention; guys get a lot of unnecessary BS when they "color outside the lines" but it's easier to pick out those that do 'cause most are too chicken (me as a guy for one).

Now if you tell them you're a dude and they don't back off, there's a problem, and good on you for respecting yourself.