Hi, I am so tired of my closeted gay paranoia! Always checking, rechecking. Monitoring yourself. Did I say that right? Did I pay too much attention? Did I pay too little attention? Did I clear that cache? Did anyone see me check that out? no you can't do a double take! Etc, etc, etc. It is endless. Even writing here is buried in layers of security. It is like trying to live your life from inside a bank vault. Add to that being a gay man in a heterosexual marriage for 20 years and deciding you finally need to be authentic for once in your life. All you young people do yourself a favor... Come out before the closet becomes a trap. Stuck
Great post. Feel so much the same way. I'm getting to the point I want to just explode out of the closet. I just want this over with so I don't have to watch what I say, stop myself short, hide what I'm reading. Way too much work for nothing. For me its about 3 months out. All related to an event in my son's life. Once that happens, then I can live out. I can't wait. Peace
Stuck Mistake, you have certainly heard the words "carpe diem." You don't ever get a single day back, so don't waste it. No amount of suffering from openness hurts as much as regret.
Couldn't have said it better. If you finally are feeling restless, just do it. I really hope you find peace :icon_sad:
