My parents and I had a discussion on the men of today's society. They said that men/guys now don't have the guts to do anything. My dad says that most of them are turning gay or turning feminine. Then my dad turns to me and asks me to be a better man than he is. I can't do that if I'm gay. He expects me to respect the wife I'll marry one day and to act my words not speak them. It is quite difficult to achieve that because I'll never marry a girl and I already am as feminine as I can get. I am just so frustrated. The guy I like is probably being nice/polite to me because he feels bad for not liking me back/or not giving me an answer. I'm sitting here observing and trying to figure him out. Likewise, we are probably really shy or nice to do anything to make it obvious. Literally, nothing is reliving me of this painful burden. I'm always going to be gay. I'm always just going to be a problem for my friends and family. Is there a solution to this? Maybe I should just....leave
I know it's really tough but you have to be true to yourself. Don't try to be what others want you to be because then you'll make yourself even more unhappy. Have you told anybody about your feelings? Sometimes parents will say things they don't actually mean, or they'll say things without realizing how it sounds to other people. Your father may be more accepting than you think he will be, it may take time but he may come around in the end. My parents had said negative things about gay people in the past, I even thought some negative things about gay people but now with dealing with being gay and telling my parents, they've been accepting of me. I hope this helps! (*hug*)
Well, YOU know that you could be a better man than him, or at least as good a man, and be gay, right? You need to start there. Making a great life for yourself (hey, not just you, each of us), is about being responsible for ourselves, and I firmly believe, standing up for and being responsible for what's important to us with our family, neighbors, community, planet. About the guy you like. You LIKE HIM -- right? Then, my friend you have an opportunity. You can take a risk, be vulnerable. No guarantees. If you reach out to him things might turn out the way you'd like or, they might not. But they might ;-) Find and do what makes you happy. Find other gay people (LGBT centers, meetings, activities, etc.) to support you. In your heart, when you're ready, you'll know what to say to your family/friends. Not so easy. I have faith in you that you can do it. Peace
"Don't have the guts to do anything? Well I've got the guts to do something incredibly difficult: tell you I AM gay, and it doesn't make me any less a man." Sorry to hear he's so hard to deal with. (*hug*) Don't let it get to you too badly.
