So hey guys, I'm new to this forum and I'm not really into this kind of things but I really need advice right now. So there's this guy that I like, or maybe love, for almost four months now and for the past four months we've been really really close. Close enough that people actually think we should date. They'd tease us for it, he'd shake his head while I just smile and try to act normal as I can. It's just this past week that I felt the need to tell him. He tells me almost everything and I do the same to him, except the fact that I love him. And just yesterday was the day I had enough of hiding it. I was guilty, he was telling me everything and all I did was hide this feeling from him. I felt bad. I gave in and told him. It started out with him trying to force to tell him what I needed to say. I told him that it was so hard for me to accept the fact that we would never be together, I told him I was confused, when really I'm not. I told him I like him. And that was it. It felt like the world was coming down on me, I logged out of Skype as quickly as I can and had a mental breakdown. It was after an hour or so when I calmed down and gathered all my courage left to check my Skype messages. And there were four messages. He said it was better for me to get it out of head, and he told me that it was okay. He told me not to do anything stupid, he continued on saying that I just needed guidance and I should pray to the Lord. He’s an Orthodox Christian. And then he finished telling me how it’s only a feeling and that I shouldn’t let it get over me. I thought he cared. I texted him this morning asking him if we were still friends, he said yes as long as I don’t make a move. I replied telling him that I respect that he’s straight and that I wouldn’t act on it. I don’t know right now, then before this, I thought it was okay between me and him. But then it wasn’t. The friendship we had just flushed down the toilet. It’s gone. I keep telling myself that I would’ve rather hid my feelings because the closeness we had, it’s all gone. I have him in three classes of mine. And never once did we speak to each other. And what’s worse is that he knows that I want him to talk to me but I guess that we can’t get the things we want. I don’t know what to do, can someone help me? Should I confront him? Talk to him? Or should I just stay away from him from now on? I really need help guys, this is the first time I told a guy that I liked them, I need an advice. Thank you for whoever took time reading this. :tears:
Well, first off, I don't think you should just drop the friendship. Like you said, it sounds like you guys are really close, so you might just need to give him some time. I mean, at least he didn't completely reject you like a lot of straight Christian guys would. I'm really sorry he responded the way he did, it's an awful situation. I know how you feel, I kind of went through the same thing with a friend (although I never really told him how I felt.) Instead of avoiding him, just talk to him and let him try to "set boundaries" or whatever and just go along with it. He probably just needs time accepting it completely. Good Luck!
ask him if their is something u said bothered him and why he doesnt talk to u like before and tell him that your the still the same person good luck
I think you need to talk to him (do it over chat or through a Facebook message if you need to) and explain to him that you are bisexual, and that's just a part of who you are. You can not act on a crush and just stay friends with him, so he doesn't need to worry about you coming on to him or anything. If he can't accept your orientation as at least legitimate, however, you'll never be able to trust him the same way again and your friendship is basically over.
Welcome to EC! Hello. It sounds like this was a joint 'coming out to him and telling him you like him' moment... just coming out isn't an easy thing to do, especially the first few times, and you further bared your soul to your friend by telling him about your feelings. It's understandable that you're feeling emotional and unsure of what to do now. My first coming out was to a (straight) friend that I had feelings for at the time, so I know what that's like! I'd say that giving him a bit of space for a few days is probably a good idea. Don't avoid him; since you're in some classes together that would be really awkward, and would send the wrong message. Say hi, ask how his day is going, but be chilled out. It'll be tough, but you've had time to get used to who you are and your feelings, and he got both of them as a surprise. Let him have a little time to adjust. Then, maybe on Saturday, send him a message and ask how he's doing. Say you hope he wasn't too surprised, but you wanted to be honest because he is your friend, and that you hope that it won't change anything. Reassure him again that you respect him and that, as you have already promised, you will not make a move on him. Hopefully, he'll get over his surprise and your friendship will continue stronger than before. Coming out does get easier... unfortunately telling someone you like them doesn't! I hope this works out well for you. Keep us posted!
I think you should make the first move and speak to him. You don't have to mention that you fancy him, I'm sure he wants to move on with the relationship as well. But he doesn't want it to seem awkward for you, that's why he's not speaking to you, just speak to him, everything will be ok.
thank you guys for all the advice, i will follow them. you don't know how much you guys made me feel better, i appreciate all of the answers.
I'm sorry to hear about your friend, but if he can't deal with your bisexuality, he's not worth your time nor energy. Friends accept you for who you are; no exceptions.
