about 3 days ago I stumbled upon ec. after a short period of time I realized this was nothing but a positive website. trying to accept me for who I wanna be has been a long struggle. last week I came out to two of my best friends and yes it felt great. but now I'm at the point where I want to actually meet some one but at the same time I'm nervous of everyone finding out my true colors all at once. is dating while in the closet as hard as it seems?
I don't have any experience with dating, but I think it would just depend on your circumstances. Are you out to your family? Do you live at home, or are you more independent? Do your friends ask a lot about your personal life? Under the right circumstances, I don't think it would be too hard. BTW, congrats on coming out!
no i live on my own I have always been super independent. and sharing my personal life has always been tough. I'm happy I'm taking steps in a good direction. just hope some confidence can come with it.
You could try an online dating website. Idk what else to suggest since you're still in the closet. Unless you want to go to gay bars.
online dating seems somewhat sketchy... once my roommate knows which should be soon I'm gonna make him go to a gay bar with me. he should be open to the idea.
I would try and meet up with guys for non-sexual dates first. Craig's List has a section for strictly platonic men seeking men M4M. I have been checking that section out myself since I just can't get into online dating when sex is the main thing there. Dick size, fave sexual position, and if you can host or not, has me uninterested, and mostly turned off. But meeting for lunch, coffee, or dinner, or to share music and movies, or hiking, that seems a better place for me to start with so far as online stuff is concerned. If you are still partially in the closet, then I see no problems, as other guys are as well. They may not state it as such, but you can see terms used like discreet or DL used meaning" please don't be a screamer shouting from the rooftops. Also dragging a straight friend to a guy bar can be a turn off for the friend. Hell it is a turn off for me. Some nights it is not a pretty crowd, but smokers, bitchy queens, and boozed up alcholics all at their worst. I would not come out, and then say ok now we are going to a gay bar. I would take it slower. BUt you know you and you know the roommate, so what do I know.
good to know on the dating sites. definitely not what I'm looking for. I appreciate the information. actually hearing it from someone else helps me a lot when making these first steps.
Yeah for me it's hard, dl relationships never really last that long. It will be better to have a relationship if your fully out.
Yes, as jp16 tells, a secret relationship is probably more stressful than enjoyable, or at least I suppose so as I only started dating after I came out of the closet some 6 years ago. I don't have much insight on the subject, but so far my advice is to tell to anyone and all who should know first and then have a more plentyful experience whitout looking behind your shoulder at every turn. Hope you don't have too much trouble coming out to those who are close to you, good luck friend.
