So my friendship with my buddy Matt has always been an odd one. We started becoming friends in 7th Grade and have been friends since. We were partners when we went to the Renaissance Faire on a field trip, yadda yadda yadda. In 8th Grade I came out to him and he was more than accepting. He's fine with me talking about my crushes with him, shit like that (he's Catholic too), but our friendship is still really weird. We come from two different circles of friends; he comes from popularity and jocks while I come from non-popularity and well...not jocks. We're both smart so we tend to have some of the same classes together but here's the thing, we never talk. Sure, we'll text, only when I prompt it, but hardly ever talk in person at school. Weird much? I will admit that I used to have a crush on him. I mean he's a baseball player and a lacrosse player, he's incredibly fit and really good looking. (I mean he's all that plus slightly Hispanic and mostly Italian, he's perfect.) I even, and regret this (somewhat), but I pretended to be some random hot girl and was texting him from an app on my iPod just so that I could get pics of him (and I mean pics). They have since been deleted, somewhat regretfully, but the irony is that having those pics probably helped the most in getting over my crush on him. We have such a great time texting, we talk about random things, bash people we both don't like, he's willing for me to vent to him about my friend Alex (he also agrees with me on everything I say about him). But then we have some conversations where it seems kind of strange. I mean just tonight I wanted to talk about him with random stuff but then we ended up talking about this guy Ben and eventually Alex. We reasoned out that he secretly wants my dick and that he's afraid of his girlfriend's pussy (long story but there is evidence behind it). We then talked about him giving people BJs and not even being weirded out by it? At one point he did say Ew but that was just about the idea of Alex giving me a bj...just cause it's him. Like wouldn't the rest of you find it weird to talk about that...with a straight guy at that?
I guess what I'm trying to ask is do you guys have relationships like this with your straight friends? Do you think it's weird how normal he was with the idea of Alex giving people BJs? Do you think our friendship is just awkward in general?
Well there's bound to be some awkwardness because he's straight and he might not understand at times but it does sound like he's not really bothered by it which begs the question on how you feel when you talk to him about stuff like that? because if he's cool about it then why do you feel awkward?
I think you have an awesome straight friend, but if never talking in person in class weirds you out a bit or is uncomfortable for you given you consider him a friend I would address that with him.
Thats one good thing about some of my straight friends/acquaintances that some times turns into a problem. Like.. I'm deeply pleased that someone doesn't have problem discussing that kind of stuff (gay stuff?) but I talk about that mostly with me female friends because..well, they like dicks .-. and that kind of conversation is interesting for them. I mean, as soon as I am dragged into a girl talk by straight friends I tend to not say much or simply avoid it because.. I don't care about that, I simply don't feel connected to the subject and it is not interesting at all. So it kind of leaves the question "What keeps a straight guy talking about guys with a gay friend?" whats so interesting about it for him/them? Well, my humble opinion on your situation is that he may be a super awesome straight friend, that simply doesn't mind talking about that. I mean, people tend to talk about "weird" subjects when they are closer because thats not something you can talk with an acquaintance or a less intimate friend. If it will make you feel better about it, perhaps you could ask him why feels comfortable talking about that kind of stuff with you? I would do it, if I was that close, I don't see any problems. He'll most likely answer that its because you are close friends, and he doesn't mind because you are special to him (special as in Friendship, nothing beyond).
Matt is a super awesome straight friend. That's plain and simple. 9/10 when I say that I have crush on someone he knows that it's probably a guy, although he's not taken back when it's a girl. He always says, "And who would that be?? I'll tell you who I have a crush on." I tell him and he either approves or disapproves. Like when I told him about Tyler, second person I've told he just replied, "nice man. he's a cool kid." Which is Matt's approval. It's just that between him and Alex, my best friend/not really best friend/on hiatus best friend, Alex wouldn't even flinch if I said I had a crush on someone, hinting that I would want to tell him. All Alex would say would be, 'o ok' or 'kool', which means he obviously doesn't care. Gleeko0, you do bring up a great point though. The guestion: "What keeps a straight guy talking about guys with a gay/bi friend?" I have asked myself that before and I never really had a solid answer. I know some guys are just so comfortable in their sexuality that they're fine with that but Matt's practically going as far to say that he wouldn't mind a guy giving him a BJ, which is fine by me, but kind of odd. I'm fine with us not really talking much in person, that's how it's been for awhile now. He has his friends, I have mine. When our paths intersect then we'll talk, but other than that, we just don't talk. I don't actually think I could have a conversation like we do when we text with him in person. I get embarrassed way too easily and the topic of sex...yeah don't even get me started. When I text or any form of online...whatever, I'm perfectly fine. I also don't really want to tell Matt how I feel about him. He has absolutely no idea I ever had a crush on him, so I feel like he may get the wrong impression if I told him he was special. I don't wanna alter our friendship much, I love our friendship how it is. I would love the answers to some of my questions: "Why is he so comfortable with it?" "Why is it so easy for me to talk about stuff with Matt?" "Why do I refuse to call Matt my 'best friend,' and still hold on hope for Alex?" As for do I think it's awkward? I don't...most of the time. I was mostly asking you guys if you thought the combination of us being friends, us being so close, was awkward/weird? As for updates: I won't be talking to Matt at all tonight, since I don't want to seem like I'm bugging him. I've come to learn that with him, talking all the time is kind of not cool. I'll wait until maybe the weekend to talk with him or maybe after tomorrow or Friday, if I have some new shit to tell him about Ben and Alex.
Hey if it works for you then go right ahead but if at any time you feel uncomfortable or way too awkward then now, you should leave it at that and try to end the situation before you or him end up hurt or something :/
