Hi all, This is my first post here, and just from the quick look around here, I realise I may be a little older than everyone else I'm 29, 30 next month, and I am a mother of two..so I've obviously been with men. Around the age of 12 or so, I knew I liked girls, in fact I thought then that I was gay, but then as I got older, I found myself having boyfriends. I still found myself attracted to females though, and would occasionally have sex with other women, up until the age of 24, when I became involved in a serious relationship with a man. I loved him very much, but something didn't feel right to me, so I left and have been single ever since. Just recently, I have found myself being attracted to women again, and after I left my partner, I knew instinctively that I would probably never be with another man again, and I was ok with this. I have always had a very hard time committing myself to relationships for very long because I find living/being with men ok for awhile, and then it gets to a point that it's not what I want. I often wonder if it's because I am not being true to who I am. I am very confused. At this stage, I can say that I definitely am attracted to women, and not so much men. I'm nervous though about what everyone will think, I mean, I am nearly 30, and I have children. Not that me being gay would matter that much, my kids would love me just as much as ever, and my Mum, while I think she'd be initially shocked, would be very supportive and encouraging. Before I go coming out to everyone, I really need to figure out how it is that I feel. I don't need anyone else to tell me that, of course, but it's always easier to see something when you are on the outside looking in.
Hello, and welcome to EC! First of all, what's wrong with 30? You are figuring out who you are, and that's great! There's women on here who are just recently coming out in their 40's. It's good that your family will be supportive. If you truly think they'll be supportive, then you should definitely tell them. You said you want to figure out how you truly feel before you come out to everyone. What do you mean by that? Is it that you're worried someone will judge you? Or is it because you're unsure if you're either bi or gay?
Welcome to the site! By the way, 29 is not old. I may not be able to offer the best insight here, given I'm a man, but I believe that those who love you will be there for you regardless of your sexual orientation. Yes, it may be a shock, and the possibility of hostility could be there. But you know deep down that they love you, support you, and only want to see you happy. Everyone comes out at their own pace. Some rip the bandage off in one swift motion, while others just X off one hair at a time. I'm hoping that metaphor made sense... I have faith that you will certainly know how to handle the situation with your family, and that whatever you decide to do will have your best interest in mind. Just remember, YOU are the one who can fully make you happy. Others in your life absolutely bring in the best of you, but they are NOT you. Do what your heart tells you.
