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Confused with bisexuality

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by outresources, Jan 23, 2013.

  1. outresources

    Regular Member

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    Hi all,

    I'm a 29 year old guy and identify as bisexual. I've only ever fantasized about guys, and watched porn, but since there is at least an attraction there I consider myself bisexual, though I've not relayed this to anyone. However, I can't seem myself actually going through with sex with a guy.

    In terms of sex, after orgasm to gay material/fantasies I'm "instantly straight". This might sound odd; some people report feeling shameful after orgasm and things like that, where as I just feel like an 100% straight person and question why I was even entertaining my 'gay side' in the first place. Slightly confused and perhaps a bit grossed out by the content. Orgasms with female partners/porn/fantasies carry no such issues - they're quite pleasant actually :slight_smile:

    My brother is gay, and I have gay friends. I'm a great admirer of the gay community, so I don't think there are issues of nonacceptance here. I also found this brother's porn stash when I was quite young (he's a bit older) and it fascinated me, so I'm wondering if there are roots in that.

    I've always considered sexuality to be a bit of a spectrum, and depending on the day I'll be only attracted to women, with other days a bit more towards both the guy and girl spectrum (on days I'm just horny for ANYONE, I suppose :slight_smile: ). It's almost like having two, separate libidos.

    So I guess I'm wondering whether anyone else has experienced this, whether they consider themselves to be 'really' bisexual (or just some spectrum of 'curious'), and experiences with maintaining long monogamous relationships with the opposite sex (and ONLY the opposite sex).

    Thank you very much all.

    M
     
  2. OMGWTFBBQ

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    Maybe you're just not turned on anymore. l don't want to look at anything sexual after it's over.

    Not to the extent that after watching girl porn, after l was finished l would be like "omg that MAN is hot!".

    So that's what being 100% ''straight'' to me is afterward lol. l fel more like l just have no sexual interest in women right after that point, and then it comes back again.

    But do you ever look at random men, celebrities etc and feel attraction? While not turned on.
     
  3. skiff

    skiff Guest

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    Hi,

    I am gay and historically after orgasm I am NOT interested in sex, period.

    Are you instantly straight or are you just not interested in any form of sex after that point?

    Same is true of porn, once the switch is flipped I don't care if gay porn exists anymore.

    I believe that is a HUGE female complaint; men shut down sexually after their own climax (generally speaking).

    I believe if you look into it it is physiological and not cultural.

    I suspect there is no change in your sexuality, just a change in your perception of it which is unrelated.

    Stuck