I need some help and this was the best way i could think of. I've always assumed i was straight even though i have no experience with either gender. I was never obsessed with getting a boyfriend like all my friends all i really felt was indifference and for the past few months ive become really confused about my sexuality. I catch myself thinking about what it would be like to be with a girl and not just sexually i also imagine what it'd be like just walking along holding hands i mean ive felt some attraction towards guys but that is mostly for their personalities and to be blunt the though of having sex with a guy grosses me out a little, but maybe im just a prude. I wish i could figure out my sexuality i have constant thoughts about it and it's driving me crazy. I know my parents would be ok either way they constantly joke about me being a lesbian and i used to deny it and laugh it off but lately when they say it i stay quiet because i honestly don't know if i am i mean surely i should know at the age of 21? Your advice and suggestions would be really helpfull. (also sorry for my bad grammar)
Hello, and welcome to EC! First of all, your grammar is fine. I noticed you said, "I catch myself thinking about what it would be like to be with a girl and not just sexually i also imagine what it'd be like just walking along holding hands". So I'm assuming you have thought about a girl sexually. If so, then there's a very good chance that you might be a lesbian, or at least bisexual. Have you ever had a crush on a girl?
I don't think i've had a crush on a specific girl but i do find myself always looking at girls i used to think i was just checking out the clothes they were wearing but now i'm not so sure that's the case.
You said the thought of having sex with a guy grosses you out. How you you feel about sex with a girl?
I definatly don't feel negatively towards it mostly curious but i tend to shut off those kind of thoughts because i've never wanted to deal with them or what they might mean.
I've been thinking about this alot and i'm now pretty sure im not straight (whether im bi or lesbian i don't know) but i have no idea where to go from here.I can't tell my best friend because i know it'll make things weird and i dont want to ruin our friendship and i don't know anyone else well enough to discuss this with them.
If you don't know where to go from here than EC is probably the best place to figure it out. What I did is just looked at a lot of the forums and asked a lot questions and I figured it out. (*hug*)
