Before I tell my story I am going to provide some background information. I am 15 years old, gay. My mom and dad got.divorced so I live with my mom and visit my dad on the weekends, which I started not too long ago. On to the story... My dad sits me down, "Son, blah blah r u sexually attracted to men?" Me: "nope." A couple weeks later he calls me again saying we need 2 talk again. Ugh. "Son, have been going through ur Facebook profile, and I have noticed you have been adding people with nudes on their profile that are are male." (In my head, first off u don't have a Facebook. So how the f*k u know this) Me: "I don't want to talk about it." Dad: "I love u blah blah blah, lets have lunch Friday afternoon. " I just feel so invaded right now, I feel so ashamed of being gay Why do do gay people have to.come out? Why can't straight people come out too. Ugh. I just don't want to talk about it , I barely came to realization that I was gay and this is too overwhelming for me. I know, some people would love to be in my situation to have accepting parents, I just don't know why I feel this way. This. Is. Soo. Difficult. Ps : this happened today. :dry: anyways, u don't have to reply, I just wanted to write out all my feelings on here. K
If you just found out then maybe telling your dad that would help you and him that way he can help you get through it. As for the Facebook thing I wouldn't read too much into it. Sometimes parents get concerned that there's something up with their kids so they tend to snoop around, and though it might be annoying and look bad from their side you could always ask why he did it and you could also tell him how it made you feel. Listen I'm not telling you to go and come out to him but I'm just saying that if he already found out and is accepting then what's the harm. Good luck on whatever you decide to end up doing .
My parents found out about my homosexuality through my blog. I found out that they found out from my little sister. They were annoyed with me (I had told a lot of my friends before them), and I was annoyed with them (they never told me that they read my blog). It was frustrating because I had absolutely no idea... but all parents look through your stuff! It's just what they do, I guess.
You are young, which is understandable why you are feeling this way. It's difficult enough having to deal with transitioning into adulthood, let alone dealing with sexuality and questioning. But you need to realize that you have your parents love, and most importantly, your father's love. So that step is done and over with. What I would advise you to do is tell your dad straight up that you're uncomfortable talking about the subject. You're still maturing and he is aware of that, so he's only trying to help... he might not realize it's hurting you, but parents sometimes are too blunt about things. If you do choose to talk about things with him then I'm pretty sure the bond between you and him will only grow stronger as you have confided in him. So, don't be scared... it's normal for him to have questions, but it is also normal for you to feel uncomfortable. At the end of the day, he is your dad and you are his son, and he says he loves you... I think that is all that matters here.
While I agree with you that it wasn't his right to force you to come out, I doubt he thought of it as being invasive. Sure, that's no excuse, but still, it sounds like he has good intentions. No matter what, something like this is awkward and confusing for even the best of parents. However, I'd be glad that from the sounds of it, it sounds like he's really do his best to be accepting of it. The fact that he actually wants to talk about it (and assuming, to understand you, not to change you), to reassure you that he'll still support you is really good. A lot of Dad's struggle to understand something like this, so the fact that he wants to is really great. I'd be open with him, explain how you feel. Answer his questions that are reasonable. Talking about it is the best thing, since it means acknowledging that you are who you are, and not having to hide it. Be glad to have a kind Dad, even if he can be invasive sometimes ^_^
