I guess Im just rather annoyed today. Heavy thinking always annoys me. There doesn't seem to be a single person like me. I know being unique is fun and everything. But its a bit lonely. My friends are starting to annoy me, and im only really hanging around with them because im comfortable with it (them being my friends for years now) and just so I have company. Im just angry/upset/whatever that I can relate to basically no one. Blah.. Also I've been thinking about the whole non existing boyfriend thing, but thats a waste of time. Nothings happening in the foreseeable future.. I've noticed my words are rather calm. Im angrier than what my words show =/ Sorry for my random rabbles.. /Vent
If your friends are straight they have not had to go through the coming out process, realising who they really are etc. This is a maturing process, so it is quite likely that your friends seem a bit immature to you now. Plus with you being gay and them straight, you may just be growing apart as your lives take different directions. This is more likely if they are male. You can't relate to them so well for reasons that are apparent to you, however they do not know why you don't seem to fit in with them so well now. I guess you relate to people here better than at school? Because of all this, it's unfortunate that you have another year of school. I think you are ready to move on in life so it would be better of you were a year older. There's nothing anyone can do there though. Your best bet for a boyfriend is probably that gay youth group you go to sometimes. Even if there's no potential boyfriends there now, there are gay people who could become friends. Plus other new people could turn up there at any time. I know you can't always get out on a Monday evening though. I dunno if that helps much, though....
I can't relate much; because I've had a beyond-soul mate for the past few years, really. I think there are a lot of people around you that can relate, but you just need to find them. You can't drive yourself mad to tears just saying that no one understands you and stuff, if you're not going to do anything about it. And about the boyfriend thing, there's nothing wrong with being single. Until then, I'll be your girlfriend<3 [As in, Gal-pal]. That's what helped me get over my semi-boyfriend and single-ness. Also this may be a time to come out. If you're unhappy with your friends anyway, and what not. And we're all here to talk. So if you need someone to relate to the whole coming out process, then we're here. Most of us can relate to that, even if we can't relate to everything you're going through. No one's perfect. But people here do their best to make everyone happy and comfortable. And we want to try to relate to you. Idk, if you wanna talk, then yay. You have my accounts everywhere.
I'm terrible at giving advice, which is why I don't post much in here. But I just wanted to say that I like you Ty
Excuse my bizarre multi-quoting malarcky, but this will be a lot easier to understand if i cut it up into pieces. Well first of all everybody feels like this. There is not one person in the world who isn't unique in one way or another. We have people who are similar to us but even they can't always make us feel happy. You just need to make sure you carry on being who you are and don't become somebody you're not. Everybody feels lonely at one point or another, but even with a partner it does not guarantee these feelings will vanish. There was a quote i heard from Dirk Benedict who said "A crowd can be the loneliest place to be", and he is very true in saying that. There are many ways for us to try and find people who we think are most like ourselves, but even then you will have times like this and self loathing is not the answer. You need to think about what people like about you and concentrate on these rather than search for qualities you (and only you) find bad. You're still young and have plenty of time to do all the things you want. Isn't that what friends are for? They will annoy you, but think about how lost you would be without them. It's extremely normal to have these moods and be fed up of people you spend lots of time around, especially around our age when our tempers go up and down quicker than a sodding yo-yo. It's just important you carry on treating them the same. They are your friends and will stand by you whatever happens. I have also seen the photos you have posted of you and your friends and i would find it hard to believe that you do not get on with them as well as the photos suggest. I think your bad mood is making things look darker than they are when really you still have a lot of potential in life. Relating to somebody is not always the best thing, nor is it the easiest. If you do find someone you can relate to then it won't magically solve all your problems. It's nice to have somebody you relate to a lot, but unless you clone yourself then you probably wont find somebody you can relate to perfectly. There will be people around you that you can relate to in some way or another. You need to mix and match with different people. If you find different people who are similar to you then you have a better mix to socialise with. In my opinion i would get pretty bored if there was only one person in my life who i could relate to. I am happy how it is now. I have some people i can moan about who i know will listen, others i can have a serious conversation with, others i can just have a general banter with and then there are people on here willing to help me with advice or anything i have a problem with. This is why it's so much better to look for different qualities in people rather than trying to find loads of qualities in one person. Once again, this isn't the solution to all your problems. I think right now you need to sort the existing problems before you jump into a relationship. They can bring problems alone, and them added on top of the ones you have now is just a bomb waiting to go off. It is very important you keep track of your thoughts so you can compare moods. Maybe a diary or journal, anything that can help you. Sadly you can't just solve these problems with basic things as "a boyfriend" because then you are under pressure to come out. Then you get the problems you have now about coming out and they worsen because you now have pressure from your partner. That isn't including other factors of a relationship. I am hoping you get my point though. Take it from me, i rushed into a relationship without thinking it through and it never fixed any of my problems. All it did was make the existing ones worse and added new ones because i had pressure from my ex. You need to work on how you percieve yourself before you go into a relationship, and problems such as coming out and being insecure about your personality, sociability etc will not do you any favors. I have been there and i know it went bad. I wont go into detail about the problems i faced, if you want to know then you can ask me on MSN or wherever but at the moment that is not the issue, you just have to come to realise what you want from yourself. It's no use writing down your thoughts and feelings when you're annoyed because it is unbelievably negative and biased, but when you're in a normal mood that is when you need to try and figure out what you want. Once you do that then you try and find how to move on. You'll eventually get to the stage of getting a boyfriend etc, but right now you need to take it one step at a time. You can always ask for advice on here and we're always happy to here your thoughts and help you through them. Oookay, that's one long ramble. To sum up: Keep a log of your thoughts and try and find ways to solve them.
I've read everything but atm I really do feel like shit. arhdfds,,dfhsfddfslh i cant say anymore without being stupid. + I'm kind of unnecessary mad at a guy which is stupid of me, but I just feel really pissed off with him. It just all happens at once =/
Aww Ty we like you. I'm sorry you're feeling lousy lately and lonely. I wish we could help you more but many of us can only be there for you just on the site =\.
I'm going to agree with this. I'm in 10th grade and have a large group of friends that I've known since 1st-2nd grade. We go back quite a while. I'd begun to notice myself becoming less interested in hanging with them, talking to them, etc. I realized it was because I wasn't being honest with them. How can you enjoy yourself with people who you can't be honest with? So I came out to all of them. When I was ready, and seperately, and in personal, thoughtful ways. I can tell you that out of eight people (4 guys, 4 girls) all of them reacted positively and our friendships have been renewed, in a sense. It was just healthy. No boyfriend still, but my best friend (guy) also happened to come out to me as bi. Que será, será, you know. Idk if anything will go on there, but maybe you'll be lucky and come to realize that a compatible person is right in front of you.
I feel a little better today i guess... But my work load hasn't really made my mood any better >.> im sure i'll feel better by next week.. Thankyou for all your posts!
Oh man, I know exactly what you're talking about. Pretty good advice above, but hopefully it'll pass...
The only thing I can tell you is that your life opens up and you're exposed to a much more diverse group of people and experiences as you get older. Attending university is usually the first time you're exposed to people that are very different from the people you grew up with. That will be a good thing - if you can't really relate to the people you grew up with. Just give it time. Yes - you're likely too mature (and smart) for your own good. But it will get better. Honest.
