Hi, I'm a 16 year old boy, and recently I've been thinking I may be gay. All of my life, I have been just a little different from everyone else, not a lot though. I used to do things like wear dresses or cross-dress when I was a small child, stuff that a lot of kids didn't do. I don't know if this is significant, I'm just trying to provide all of the details I can. I've never really been great with girls, up until recently, I had only ever kissed a girl once and it was only a peck on the lips. But since this October, I seem to have lost some of the social awkwardness I've had for most of my life and have naturally been better at talking to girls. Back in October, I had a girl over who had been into me for a long time, and we started to do stuff. We kissed for a while, and she eventually started to give me a hand job. This went on for about 20 minutes before I just had to tell her I wouldn't be able to finish. At first I thought it was just a bad hand job, because when I masturbate I usually finish in less than a minute, but I'm starting to question that. I just wasn't aroused at all when she was doing it. After that, I didn't really talk to her because I wasn't attracted to her, I actually found her gross. Then, about a month later, I had a girlfriend of about 3 days, when I decided that I just didn't like her. Another month after that, I had a girlfriend for two weeks who after we had kissed a couple times, I realized I didn't like, and I just put off breaking up with her because I didn't want to have to deal with it. Looking back, I was, and still am, kind of grossed out by her. Since then, I haven't had a girlfriend. A few days ago was when I started questioning my sexuality. I suddenly realized that I found a male character on a TV show I watch attractive in at least some way. I then thought I might be bi curious, and as I started to find other guys cute, I was sure I was at least a little bi, but last night, I thought back on all these past relationships, and found it odd that I never had an emotional attraction with any of these girls, only physical. No matter how much I wanted to like them, all I've ever really wanted any girl for is to "get off," and in the one situation where I did end up getting a hand job, nothing happened. So then I tried an experiment last night, where I looked at pictures of guys and girls of the explicit nature to see which I found more arousing, and for some reason I think it was the girls. When I see pictures of girls, I objectify them in my mind and only imagine them sexually, but when I see guys, I can't imagine myself doing the things to them that I imagine myself doing to the girls, but I think this problem only lies with the guys in porn or other things, because for some reason I can imagine myself having sexual relations with guys in my head, it's different than seeing a picture of a naked guy on my phone, and in real life, I feel like I can accurately judge the attractiveness of any male. I've finally realized I'm only attracted to girls for the pleasure aspect, and maybe even guys, but for some reason erotic photos of both elicit different responses in me. I'm just extremely confused as to what is going on and whether or not I am just imagining these things, almost for attention purposes. Oh, also, in 8th grade, I had a crush on a guy I knew, and I was questioning whether or not I was gay for a couple of weeks, but then I lost interest and forgot about it, but the guy was also fairly unattractive looking back. Thanks for the help in advance! I am just not sure what to do, and this seemed like the place to come for help.:icon_bigg
Re: Am I gay or bi? Please help Very few people are 100% gay. Very few people are 100% straight. And most bisexuals will tell you that it's not 50-50%. Right now, it sounds like you have normal curiosity about both guys and girls. It will probably take more experience and some time before it becomes clearer to you where you are on the scale between gay and straight. At 16, you're not expected to have it all figured out. There's still people well into their twenties who are still trying to figure it out. The fact that you've given this some thought and you're able to accept that you may be gay or bi will make the process much easier.
Re: Am I gay or bi? Please help KB has the right idea. You're still collecting data. Eventually it'll make sense. For now, don't bother putting names or labels on it. Just go with the flow. You might try masturbating without porn from time to time. See where your imagination takes you. Lex
Re: Am I gay or bi? Please help No one can tell you if you are gay or bi, only you can make that decision for yourself. It's what you truly feel and there is no need to rush into things if you don't have "loads of information" as such. Also, don't trust those "Am I gay?" Quizzes. They really don't work. :lol:
First off, remember you are only in 8th grade so I'm guessing you're 13 or 14? This is a period of time when you experience an upsurge of hormones caused by puberty. It is very obvious you experience sexual attraction to girls, which would mean you are not gay. You could be in the beginning phase of experiencing sexual attraction to other guys BUT it could also be caused by hormones and only be temporary. At age 13-14, it is normal to not feel emotional/romantic attraction. Many people will experience the sexual/physical and then later on the emotional. I think you can safely eliminate the idea you're gay but keep in mind you may be straight and confused or beginning to develop into bisexuality. Only time will tell and my advice is to ride it out. I'm gay and at your age I had NO emotional feelings for guys, only sexual. It took me several years for that to develop. You may actually be straight and over time you'll develop emotional feelings for girls.
I'm 15, and when I was 11/12/13 I was really confused about all of this just like you. I mean, it is so easy to say to someone just ignore it and you'll find out when the time comes and what not, but really, you have to dig deep down and try to accept that you could be bi/gay or whatever. I mean, you could possibly try and experiment with another guy, but that's a bit risky. Later on in high school or college or whatever you may find that you're even straight, I guess. Really, it's all about knowing yourself and accepting the endless possibilities of what you could "be". I mean, I want to say just don't put too much time thinking about it and realize that whatever you may be interested in, it's okay and it'll be easy. But coming to the realization that you're gay/bi is a lot harder and it's so hard to just try to forget about until the moment it's brought up, uh, sexually? So, it's possible that you could be bi/gay, I mean, it's possible for anyone to be bi/gay/anything else. Just don't worry about it, because 2 years or 1 year or whenever, from now when you "find" yourself, you'll think "Wow, did I really spend all that time worrying about who I am?" Just how I think, may not be the way you think. Good luck
Re: Am I gay or bi? Please help Thanks for all the answers guys! By the way I'm the OP I don't really care whether or not I'm anon
