Well, it doesn't mean that you did the wrong thing in really liking him like that. You didn't know. You can't blame yourself!
It is not your fault he turned out to be a molester. You are not responsible for his actions. Look at yourself and know you are a good person full of life and love. Know in all of this you are good. Hugs
He was like my dad but not anymore. He was a police officer now lately I’m been think about the entire group of adult i know. I’ve learn that you really don’t know people at all the way you thought you did. He rape little boy who does that and now I have to go to Wichita KS to talk to the other kids lawyer. I only went over his house as kids that but I don’t think I been rape
Oh sorry I was a bit confused. Wow! I can only imagine what a shock to your system that must be!!! You just really never know about people I guess... They'll probably just ask you questions about your relationship with him, what you saw when you went over etc... That's so crazy to me though!
I’m already dealing with being gay but I didn’t tell my family yet. People hit me up on Facebook asking have I been rape or did I get touch somewhere. I had to delete my Facebook and make a new one so people would stop asking me.
There will be people that think that that is why you're gay. Even if you tell them you weren't a victim of abuse. Expect the ignorant responses. This won't be an easy situation for you, and I give you my condolences.
This has got to be upsetting to you on multiple levels. It's complicated because it makes you rethink every interaction with him and evaluate it in a different light. There's no question that (assuming he's guilty) he harmed a lot of people in ways that can take many years to recover from. What makes it complicated for people like that is that often times they *did* do good things as well. Jerry Sandusky, for example, started a charity that, without question, helped a lot of kids and did a lot of good. But unfortunately, because he started it mostly for his own nefarious purposes, it completely tarnished the charity and it ended up shutting down. The positive things you took from your mentorship experience with him, you still have. But I can see why it could make you hesitant to trust people or believe what you're told. It might be good for you to see a counselor or therapist if that's an option.
To me therapists are people you pay to tell your feelings to and they keep your secret. I like to talk to real people and who are just like me. That why I love this site it’s good to know that I’m not face the world by myself. Thank you peps for your help much appreciated
That's an enormous misconception. Therapists are people who have specialized training to understand what you're saying, but also to understand the underlying experiences you've had, and how those things can color or filter your experience. It's completely different than taking to people who are "just like you." (Though... a good therapist will have a rapport with you that feels like s/he is "just like you." ) There's no way someone without the specialized training can understand the complexity of a situation such as this and really help you get to the core of the issues and how they affect you. And that's necessary and valuable. But it isn't a replacement for therapy. Thank you peps for your help much appreciated[/QUOTE]
when i was a kid my and got a divorce so they took me and my brothers to a therapist too me it did not help me at and my brothers but when talk to anther person that know the same pain we felt and they told use what we need to do so that we wont fell guilty. i'm not say therapist don't help people but it really don't help me out at all. i learn from from people that been thought the same experience i have
Oh all the old memories coming back to me.. When I was 8, my teacher (who'd been my teacher the year before that as well) was fired for supposedly being a little too touchy with some of the young boys. I can't remember a lot from that period, but the things I do remember aren't bad at all, nothing weird or out of the ordinary. Anyway, I remember my parents dragging me from therapist to therapist to therapist, over and over again -- probably where my intense hate towards therapists comes from. When I went to see my first therapist, I had absolutely no clue why on earth my teacher was fired, I was a perfectly fine and happy kid. It only took the therapists a couple of weeks to turn me into a confused and scared little boy. They really did nothing more than confuse me. Luckily my parents saw it wasn't helping, so I could quit a couple of months later I know none of that really helps you, I guess what I wanted to say before it turned into this big story, is that if you had a good time with him, and you know nothing probably happened, then there's absolutely no reason to worry about that, and I'd even say there's no reason for you to have to hate him either! I certainly don't hate my teacher, I personally don't have any reason to. He was actually a really nice man -- well, in my perception, at least. So if this role model of yours was nice to you, don't let anything take that view away from you. Just try to forget about him, but don't try to create a negative view. At least that's what worked for me.
Maybe I don’t hate him but I do hate his I’m already in Kansas I had to talk to the kid lawyer and I really dint have anything bad to tell. He always treat me with respect and he defiantly did not touch me so I can’t really say I hate him but I’m sad that I lost my best role model Who want to be my role model?
I've know what it's like to feel like your role model disappointed you. It feels like that person betrayed you but you shouldn't take it personal just remember that nobody is perfect. I don't want to sound narcissistic but I try to make myself my own role model. I use to always want to be like someone else growing up but found it better to just try and be the person I want to be. Idk if this makes sense but its just my two cents.
i did thank that i would have this good of result thank you guys and girls for the help and support ill be in court tomorrow to see if he guilty or not. but i feel like he guilty and also he not.
Unfortunately, I know many, many people who had the same experience you and Justin did. Kids who are forced to go to therapy against their will generally hate it, and unfortunately, many therapists that work with kids really suck... and because most of their clients are kids, there's no one to really see how badly they suck, so they're able to continue being unhelpful to hundreds of kids for decades. As I said, talking to someone who has been through what you've been through can help, but it's not a replacement for therapy, nor is it remotely reasonable to say that therapy won't be helpful to you because you had a bad experience as a kid. Of the people I know that have had bad experiences similar to yours, that I've been able to cajole into trying again as an adult, not a single one has regretted the decision, and for most, they've found it to be the most powerful and healing experience they've ever had. So... if you're convinced that you know better than everyone who works in that field, and the hundreds of thousands who have been in situations similar to yours and benefited from the help of an empathic, caring professional... of course you're entitled to your opinion. But if I were you, I'd at least consider that it might be a little bit arrogant to assume that you know better than all these others.
