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Are all guys bisexual?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by jasonpaul, Jan 24, 2013.

  1. jasonpaul

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    Background: I'm 20, male, bisexual (I prefer to hookup with women and date men), in college. I'm in one of the top fraternities at my school. Due to parents who would not pay for my college, I am not officially out to any of my close friends. Furthermore, my fraternity is known for being the "homophobic frat" because we don't allow gay members. And yes, most of the guys make jokes and stuff, but I wouldn't classify any of them as hateful, its usually playful teasing. However, I can tell you that some pretty gay shit goes on in there: people are always sleeping in each other's beds, goofing off in the showers, even cuddling/spooning while watching TV and hanging out.

    You'd be surprised how many of my friends have admitted to me that they are attracted to guys, or that they sometimes worry they are gay. It's like since they don't actually think of themselves as bisexual, they don't understand what they are saying. Or I'll notice them doing things that I used to do before I came out to myself. Plus, they always end the conversation by saying something like, "But, even though I'm a little gay, I love girls so its chill." But to me, how is that different than bisexual?

    My ex-boyfriend (my only gay experience) used to try to convince me that I was gay because "bisexuality is just a phase." But to me, it seems that almost every guy who is honest with me admits that he is bisexual. What do you guys think?
     
  2. MerBear

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    not to me , maybe to an extent maybe
     
  3. Kay

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    Gore Vidal thought everyone was bisexual. I think for a lot of people it could well be a true statement.
     
  4. OMGWTFBBQ

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    hmm. Eh.

    What l do think is that people sometimes(or often) have feelings for friends of the same sex that they fear border on attraction. Because of heteronormative bla bla bla, etc they react strongly. They see that as "gay".

    Also why people who are just gay question if they might have a hetero attraction.

    So no, l think half or maybe more are straight, SOME are bi and some are gay. Maybe a slightly different makeup with women.
     
  5. To a certain extent, I would say yes. It would be hard to find someone that was completely and exclusively 100% heterosexual.
     
  6. Zaio

    Zaio Guest

    No I don't think it's true at all. I for one can say with absolute resolution that I am 100% gay. Everything about the female body repulses me, whereas it's the opposite for male bodies.

    Many straight men can be tricked into confusion, or guilted into it. That way they aren't sure and become curious, but they are in fact straight. Many people label themselves "bisexual" so they'll be more accepted, using it to test waters before coming out as gay, which is sort of what it sounds like your friend is doing (not intended to offend if somehow someone takes offence).

    All the best.
     
  7. myheartincheck

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    Well I believe some people are 100% straight or gay, but I believe the majority of us are somewhere in between. Now this can range from 99% gay to 99% straight. I think that being somewhere in between is more natural than people think.

    However, I'd say if you check out the opposite sex significantly more, you would probably identify as straight, or the reverse. If you check out the same sex significantly more you're probably more comfortable identifying as gay.

    I've had a crush on a guy a long time ago but identify as lesbian because I haven't had a crush on a man since! I hope that helped?
    :slight_smile:
     
    #7 myheartincheck, Jan 24, 2013
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2013
  8. elietto92

    elietto92 Guest

    I'm completely gay, but I do find women attractive. When I mean attractive, I mean the way they look or dress. Whether I'd sleep or date them is a no no so not all guys are bisexual. Remember some guys don't want to be identified as gay as they don't want to feel like they are falling into the femme gay stigma. I always said I was bi because I didn't want to feel effeminate I until I met some masculined guys who were strictly gay and that changed :slight_smile:
     
  9. photoguy93

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    All guys are horny... That's the statement you should be saying. That's at least how I see it!
     
  10. WilliamM

    WilliamM Guest

    Im not bisexual never been emotionally or physically attracted to women.
     
  11. 4AllEternity

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    Uh, no? I mean seriously. Isn't the fact that most guys are heterosexual the usual complaint? I have to say this is the first time I've heard this one before.

    Most guys are heterosexual. While a rather large amount may have had some sort of homosexual or homoerotic experience at some point, I don't consider that (and neither do they usually) to be the same thing as homosexuality/bisexuality. That's just normal experimentation during sexual development.
     
  12. No but bisexuality isn't a phase either.
     
  13. skiff

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    Hi,

    All living things are horny. The prime directive of biology is to reproduce. Society lays a drape over the animal and things get muddy. But biology can get muddy too.

    If you are familiar with the work of Dr Rao you know of his teams experiments on mice and sexual preference. By altering brain serotonin metabolism he was able to shift sexual preference in 60% of the mice. When serotonin metabolism was restored the mice shifted back to heterosexual behaviour.

    So if serotonin metabolism is fluid in an individual their sexual preference will shift with the tide of serotonin.

    I suspect in large populations sexual preference is a sine wave with a apex, median and nadir. Just to throw some numbers at the sine wave lets say the median is about 20% of the wave and represents fluid sexual preference. From the apex to the median you have a heterosexual spectrum and the closer it gets to the median the more bisexual. From the nadir to the median you have homosexuals with another 40% with a spectrum that is more bisexual as it approaches the median. The old 80/20 and 60/40 rules.

    You can move the numbers around as you please but I believe the 80/20 and 60/40 rules will be found in the distribution. As long as you maintain the 60% "average joe" rule you achieve continuation of species.

    It will all tie back to continuation of species ratios.

    Stuck
     
    #13 skiff, Jan 24, 2013
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  14. Shadowsettler

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    It's really wierd, because I used to be bisexual. The even stranger part is I was only interested in butchy women. It was a very steady and visible decline and eventually my drive for women completely died and that was when I became "gay". I don't understand it at all...
     
    #14 Shadowsettler, Jan 24, 2013
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  15. cm81990

    cm81990 Guest

    Mine was somewhat similar. I'm not sure at what age we define the emergence of one's "true sexual orientation." As a young kid, I had mad crushes on girls. As I got closer to puberty, I began to think sexually of naked girls. Certain actresses and even a girl neighbor I would find myself drawn to. At around ages 12-13, I became attracted to guys out of nowhere. Girls eventually became "boring" to me. I'm now 22, and sometimes wonder if I do indeed have a fluid sexuality or if I'll experience bisexuality in the future. I look at girls today but get no response. Back in the day, I did. What will the future be like?
     
  16. Reptillian

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    Citations plox.

    All living things are horny... Ignoring asexual people and people who lacks sexual drives, but aren't necessarily asexuals.
     
    #16 Reptillian, Jan 25, 2013
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  17. skiff

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    Citation;

    http://www.nature.com/nature/journal/v472/n7341/full/nature09822.html

    In English;

    ===
    Rao and his team genetically engineered male mice to lack either serotonin-producing neurons or a protein that is crucial for making serotonin in the brain. Both types of altered mouse couldn't make serotonin.

    Unlike typical males, mice deficient in the neurotransmitter showed no inclination to mount sexually receptive females more than males, nor did they prefer to smell females' genital odors or bedding. Instead, they climbed onto males and serenaded them with ultrasonic love songs more frequently than normal. Males emit these vocalizations when they encounter females to make them more receptive to mating.

    While all of the males who possessed serotonin mounted females first, nearly half of the mice that lacked serotonin clambered onto males before females, and about 60 percent spent more time sniffing or hovering over the genital odors and bedding from males than from females.

    When the researchers injected a compound into these mice to restore neurotransmitter levels, they found that the animals mounted females more than males. But too much serotonin reduced male-female mounting, suggesting that the amount of this chemical must stay within a certain range to foster heterosexual rather than homosexual behaviors.
    ===

    The goal of 99.9999% of life on earth has primal drive to reproduce. Even cancer cells.

    Stuck
     
  18. RainbowMan

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    I don't identify as bisexual - though I can find women physically beautiful, there's more to it than that. In fact, I can't help but look if I see a boob just hanging there - but it doesn't do anything for me *sexually*. I simply admire the female form.

    I think that part of that might be societal training, and some may be because I genuinely find that.....I guess interesting would be the right word.

    But would I want to sleep with a woman? No! So I'm certainly at least a Kinsey 5, if not 6 :slight_smile:
     
  19. Divopix

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    I agree with this. But also, some guys just really like to be close to people and cuddle..

    I cuddle with a lot of friends that I have no attraction to and I do it just because I like being close to people. However, I think that a lot of people aren't as straight as they say. Or gay, for that matter.
     
  20. highndry

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    Amen.:kiss: