Sensitivity?

I'm like that to a certain degree. Although I'm usually the one who doesn't want to go to the grocery store lol

 

Firstly, you're not alone...

I can generally control my emotions fairly well - to a point.

But when people are discussing making a trip somewhere, and don't even bother to include me in the discussion, or inviting me along, I feel so sad and rejected. Even if I decide not to tag along, I'd at least want to have that option. People can be so thoughtless and inconsiderate sometimes.

I'm not a very chatty person, and some may find that annoying but I don't think I'm a bad person and I would like to be included.

Many times they'd invite me along as an afterthought, which just makes it so much worse. Example, I made a musician friend and he invited me to one of his gigs at a restaurant. Upon arriving there, I saw a couple of people I know at a big table. They invited me to join them. It was one of their birthdays that day (I was unaware) and they also came to support this muscian friend and celebrate this lady's birthday too. I felt so uneasy because they didn't tell me about their plans, so I showed up empty-handed and looked rather foolish. I was so uncomfortable the whole time because I felt they were only being nice because I happened to also be there. If they truly wanted me there, why didn't they invite me from the start? I can think of quite a few other examples, but I'd rather not go into detail about them

 

There are times, specifically during my monthly cycle when I'm extremely weird. I become easily agitated, sensitive, chatty, bitchy, shy, nervous, scared etc. and it's ruining my life :-( I tend to avoid certain situations because I don't want to snap and have a nervous breakdown.

 

It is interesting that you felt the need to state that you are believe you are strong because you can resist the urge to cry. I may be over-analyzing here, but perhaps you should give some thought as to why you felt the need to declare that in relation to this topic?

Trust me though, the feelings you describe are not exclusive to you. It affects us all, but no one wants to admit it, especially to the degree to which it bothers them. This is because it can be viewed as being "weak."

Choking down tears does not make you strong, but being sensitive does not make you weak. Everyone needs to be able to cry.

 

l have really scary PMS too. l don't...even...l'm not right during that time lol. Add to that the migraines which make we WEIRD more so than really hurt.

But yes, l can kind of be like that OP. Maybe just in a limited way, though. Like l can react pretty strongly to some things but usually silently. And it doesn't last long, it's almost like l'm not even able to hold onto things.

 

I am sorry if I offended you, that was not my intent. I understand why you do not wish to cry in public.

Like I said, I could just be waaay over-analyzing it, but I was not focusing on the abstaining from crying. I find it interesting that you felt the need to declare that you were strong as the first thing you said. I do not doubt that you are strong, but you seem to feel like you cannot be sensitive if you are strong.

Does your sensitivity bother you because it makes you question how strong you are?

Please correct me where I am wrong, the last thing I would want is to offend you!

 

Anxiety and depression can definitely lead to over-reacting and oversensitivity. I am glad you have realized that you just want someone to talk to! Go ahead and talk to someone then, that sure helped me. Does not matter if it is a friend, family member, therapist, or even EC, as long as you are comfortable with it.

 

I dealt with depression for number of years in my teens. I know what it feels like. I also had panic attacks when I was young due to anxiety and irrational fear. What helped the most was talking to others about it. Realize you have a burden that cannot be carried alone, and do not be ashamed to share it. I suggest you start with the people closest to you-your family. Unfortunately, this might be difficult since you are not out to them yet, but the sooner you talk about your fears, the faster you will heal. You are worth the time it takes to heal.

 

Hi Shadowsettler,what your describing sounds a lot like anxiety.It's really common amongst our communities.Constantly self-censoring and gaugeing our surroundings to avoid conflict with people who don't like who and what we are can do a real number on our heads.Being in the army,always living with the fear of being outed,it would be more surprising if you weren't having problems.The good news is that if you find a sympathetic psychologist they can show you some simple ways to get yourself out of the negative thought patterns that get you so wound up.I tried it myself a few years ago and it helped a lot.Hope this helps and remember to love yourself we all deserve it.

 

I'm pretty sensitive myself, sometimes it shocks me how people can lash out for no reason. I'm not a saint, but I just don't understand how people can be cruel when stressed. Not everyone's like that of course, but it always upsets me to a certain degree.

I've found that working on my self-esteem by developing my interests really helped with this, I feel less vulnerable to being hurt by people, I just brush it off now. I'm still sensitive to others myself, but less likely to be hurt by the random nasty people.

 

I know I'm oversensitive. And it sucks sometimes. Here on EC I let it show. But usually I hide my feelings/emotions really well.....unless I'm pissed off and then EVERYONE knows it.

 

I think that repressing emotions leads to this. At least in my opinion.

I don't want this to seem like a pissing match - I'm just going to share my story. I know it's not as severe as some of you, so please don't judge me.

I dealt with a lot of death when I was younger. A few great grandparents...then my grandma (I was really close with her.) Then, when I was 15, my grandpa (really close to him) became ill. It was 4 years of ups and downs. Will he live through the night? Will he make it? That was a constant. We had some great times, mind you - but that even causes some emotional turmoil.
Now, my grandma has dementia. That's tough because you are slowly losing the person.
And... I'm gay and feel like a whore walking into church, in regards to the gay community.

My point is that I have repressed how I felt. I honestly don't remember consistently talking about my problems. I never cried that often. I always hid things because I just didn't want to face them.

Now, I am very hypersensitive to everything. A friend doesn't call? Well I immediately become sad and think "our friendship is over."

Guys aren't messaging me or talking to me - well, I'm going to be alone my whole life.

The hard part is that we are making things worse. We need to face our problems in hopes of living a better life. I'm working on it... I realize how negative I have been. (I apologize to any people offended.)

But what you are doing is normal. I can't explain why. I just know a lot of us are going through it.

 

u_____u what specifically is the thing you're worrying about that is nothing can l ask?

---------- Post added 25th Jan 2013 at 11:39 AM ----------

:F if l can ask, l should SHUT my mouth l just say things ><