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Lesbian dating a trans girl

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Yggdrasil, Jan 24, 2013.

  1. Yggdrasil

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    This is a really personal question, but I'll go ahead.
    So, I just recently started dating this girl, and she's gret. I may be getting ahead of myself (or not considering patterns in my friend group and my worry over preparedness for the future), but I was thinking about sex.
    I'm a complete virgin so I wouldn't know what to do anyways (but she isn't.)
    She's pre-op, and I was wondering what to do about genitals and dysphoria and whatnot. I really do not want to the wrong thing.
    So, any general thoughts?
     
  2. RainDreamer

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    It is something you have to ask her yourself. Every transperson have a different level of dysphoria, some are comfortable enough to use what they have pre-op to pleasure their partners, some will simply abstain from sex at all cost, some will be willing to do some things, but not anything with their pre-op genital, and so on. Have to ask her what she is comfortable with.
     
  3. Katelynn

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    My friend is both trans & lesbian, & she writes her blog from that perspective. This particular blog entry may be helpful for you:

    Midnight Rose : Lesbian Love with a Transwoman

    Hope this helps, as I know that it nails it right on the head how I feel & what I expect as a gay transgirl. (*hug*)
     
  4. OMGWTFBBQ

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    l don't get what you're saying about the dysphoria for HER genitals lol. unless you mean she won't be into sex because of that.

    You being a virgin on top of it (or underneath) l'm not sure. Sounds anxiety inducing.

    But honestly l never had a specific issue with dicks so, l don't know if you care but the penis itself is okay. lol.
     
  5. Yggdrasil

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    Thanks, everyone. I did mean dysphoria on her part. I really dont want to do anything that would make her feel bad at all. So I'm nervous, but I guess good communication is the best thing if/when we get to that point.
     
  6. Deaf Not Blind

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    with the transladies here I agree. if i date a girl i want her to not try stuff that is lesbian as I am a straight guy. so i would want to do what I can that is male. that is how my mind sees it. i am thinking for a girl it would be similar, as much female stuff you can do, is likely what she is willing to do...and likely stuff that reminds her of odd body things will make her unable to have fun. the key is to ask what kind of stuff she likes. also if YOU feel uncomfy with any requests she makes, you have a right to say Eh, No i prefer not to do that. It is both parties, you respecting her and she you. it is wise you think about it as that shows a good chance you two will be a good couple.
     
  7. Priiiide

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    Think about what you would be comfortable with as well, if she does want to use the genitals she has pre-op to pleasure you would you be ok with that, think about your boundaries.
     
  8. Hot Pink

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    The first thing you need to do is talk to her. Don't talk to us, talk to her. Ask her what she likes when you want to have sex with her. Every trans woman is different. Some are okay with using their penises, some aren't. Some are okay with penetration, others aren't. She may think it's enough to just pleasure you.