I'm 16 years old, and I know I'm gay - I do have complete sexual attraction to guys, and none to girls. I have dates girls before, and I've "talked" to guys. I never have any crushes on people, ever, I usually say I do because I want to, because I really want to be in a realtionship. I have "talked" to a guy (we were going to go on a date, but he was grounded) before, and I only met him once, and we just texted a lot and he'd compliment me a lot and whatnot and then we kind of were starting something, but it failed, and I did vist him once where he worked and I was really, really happy then. Anyways I never have a crush on someone, when I have dated someone it started by them liking me, but most of the time I just say I like someone though I don't. I have a definite physical attraction to guys though, like this guy who is on my soccer team and I want to like date him (but he's straight lol) but idt I actually have any romantic feelings towards him at all. I have a terrible relationship with my parents and it's kind of abusive, if that has anything to do with it. Or I'm just not able to identify romantic attraction
I'm thinking you are still young and should give it some time... I'm pretty sure one day you will meet someone and you'll fall head over heals, you'll know when it happens! Just don't over think things right now, it will happen just give it time and don't stress about it.
Ok, I know that feeling all too well. I actually was in the same exact position you were until I hit 20, then it was easy to want to crush on someone I liked. Mostly because the people I liked we're more mature and more grounded than the ones during high school. They were also a lot more fun and a great deal more understanding. I haven't found the right person due to the fact in trying to not look, but its soo easy now to have feelings with the great people around me. So just give it time and things well get better as time passes and people grow.
You mentioned a terrible and abusive relationship with your parents. My parents were very abusive towards me when I was younger, before I became emancipated and moved on. I do not know the severity of yours, or whether it is physical, emotional, etc, but I can tell you that it can definitely affect your sex life. I had the same problem, I would lust for the body but couldn't form any connections with anyone because of the abuse I was suffering. If someone as close as my parent, the closest people in the world for most children, could also be the biggest antagonist of my life, my mind wouldn't allow me to form connections with anyone else. I was too scared to form a connection to anyone, and instead disconnected myself. Sure I had friends, but I would never let them get close. This may be your problem, if you think your abuse is severe enough to impact you this way. Either way, it will get better, and if abuse is your problem, you will heal. Because you are only 16, it is not uncommon at all. You should consider yourself lucky you're not walking around all day crushing on students and teachers yet! A lot of straight boys don't develop actual crushes or romance until into their college or even adult years too, and some people don't realize they are gay until they are 30. When the time comes, you will have your first crush, and... well, we'll let you find out how much "fun" crushes are!
