my ex use to call me sweetie all the time and since she's gone , i hate when people say it. like my teacher , a friend....just anyone....i hate it...its painful , i never had a flashback before but its a first..... i've been bitchy and on edge the past 3 days or so and the whole month , i've been on a roller coaster of emotions but overall ...i've been sad... but do you think after i move on...i'll be able to tolerate to word without bring back memories?
I think you will move on its not the word you hate just the feelings and emotions you have attached to that, once you have moved on and are in a happier place it will have less influence or may even become a happy association like when someone has passed away. Say my Grandfather was called Robert, when he first dies anytime I hear the name Robert, it upsets me, maybe makes me cry therefore I dont want to be near anyone called Robert, but as time passes I dont miss my Grandfather less but the pain eases and in time when I hear the name Robert I probably just remember all of the great times we had together rather than the hurt and sorrow.
yeah you're right. it kills me every time and i loved when she would do it...i swear i did , now i just dont want to hear it
Some words bringing back feelings for exes, like names and pet-names, can affect us forever. I suspect that it will affect you much more out of a relationship than during one, but it can still bring back memories for the rest of your life. Alanis actually has a whole song written about this exact phenomenon on the same album cover that my avatar is. "What's it been over a decade? It still smarts like it was four minutes ago We only influenced each other totally We only bruised each other even more so"
To be honest, I think all words like sweetie, hun, dear, anything along those lines, that are used by men you don't know are degrading to women. I don't like them as pet names either. Or baby or babe. Eventually you'll get past it! In 7th grade through to 9th, I swore I was completely in love with my best friend. She was just so amazing, and I never thought I'd get over her and the memories we had together. I mean, even now when I pass a road or a bus terminal that we shared a memory at, it hurts. She and I are no longer friends and I see her everyday and it still hurts. What people find really weird is that I used to be quite fat and weird but now I've grown up and I'm not fat and I'm not as weird, but if I had to say who I thought was the most attractive girl I know, it would still be her, even though I recognize she isn't beautiful as I originally thought, ya know? Like anything else, it takes time! You may always have a hard time hearing that word.
