Same-sex date in an area with few LGBT...

It's not like you need to draw unwanted attention on the first date. Generally, at least from my experience, first dates don't start making out in the restaurant. Most people that walk by will probably just think of you two as a couple of guys going out for lunch/dinner/whatever unless you're at a notoriously romantic place for dinner. Try not to worry about it, sure some might suspect, but unless you're holding hands and gazing into each other's eyes the whole date I doubt you'll receive any more attention than a couple of friends grabbing lunch.

 

First off, it sounds like you're ambivalent about exactly how out you want to be on this date - you're nervous about drawing attention, but you also want him to know you don't care what people think. I would make a decision ahead of time about how open you want to be when you're hanging out with him - it will prevent you from having to stumble through decisions on the spot and in the moment later, if nothing else.

There is no perfect first date spot. It could range from just coffee to dinner and anything in between. It could involve a museum or touristy place near you. A video arcade, a hiking trail (as long as it's not too remote - taking someone to the middle of nowhere on a first date could feel a bit awkward for them), an ice skating rink. Who knows? The only thing I would suggest not doing is a movie - hard to get to know each other there.

In any case, if it's the first time you're meeting, do take the usual precautions (meet somewhere public first, tell someone where you're going and the basic schedule you expect to stick to).

Also, side note - it may feel like the gay population is 1%, but it may very well be higher. Growing up, I always felt like that's what it was in my hometown, but I've learned differently since I left.

 

Going off of what KTWK said, I think you could do any one of a number of things for a first date without having to worry about drawing unwanted attention. Going out to dinner, getting coffee, going for a walk in a nice park, etc.

I remember someone mentioning on another thread that alot of date activities aren't that much different than hanging out with friends to begin with, though obviously with a different intent and perhaps more emotionally intimate. So in arranging for a first date, I think you two would be good with whatever you choose to do [perhaps you could even ask him for suggestions?] since you'd just be taking the time to get to know one another in person. Hope this helps.

 

Does he know you're bi? It's not something that needs to be disclosed until more trust is built up. I'll admit that I am insecure dating guys that are bi... Not quite sure why, and I know it's irrational, but that doesn't change how I feel. It's not like it is a major obstacle or anything, however.

As for prying eyes, it's not like you can just stop worrying because we tell you, but I think a lot of your worry might just be from being anxious about the date in general. After your first date, I'm sure you won't be nearly as worried about "prying eyes." Just try not to worry about it, and be yourself. Don't feel like you have to hide because the elderly couple at the back of the restaurant might suspect.

Good luck with your date!

 

I agree with what everyone has said. You need to pick a side.

Either you will be scared and not go public, or you will just go out and be proud.

As far as the date goes, exactly where do you live (as in a really conservstive area? Or just a boring area?) I live in an area with a gay population (well, out gay population) of about 1%, but there are still options.
I'd suggest a nice restaurant. At least, in my opinion, people are pretty chill. And you won't be making out, so that's nice. It doesn't have to be a 5 star restaurant, but something relaxing.

 

The first date with a guy will always be awkward, nerve wrecking and its something that you sort of have to learn how to deal with.

The first step is to talk about this whole thing with the guy that you are talking to. Ask him how comfortable he is with dating in public, how comfortable he is with PDA, and also let him know this is your first time dating in public (It is, right?) and that you are a tad nervous. All of that information will help you guys feel more comfortable with the whole thing and you guys can help each other avoid feeling too uncomfortable.

And try to not worry about what everyone else is thinking. Concentrate on your guy and on getting to know him better