I feel like somebody needs to know. I'm gay. Yep, there it is. I'm 22 years old, and I've known for the better part of a decade, but I have absolutely no one I can tell. I'm a Christian (and intend to be no matter what happens), raised in a very conservative family. I have a few, relatively new friends from college that I might be able to tell with little or no consequence, but other than that, I'm not sure what would happen. I would love to tell my close friends (most of whom I've been friends with since elementary school), but I'm afraid they would adversely react, as most of them are devout Christians, as well. Under no circumstances will I ever be able to tell my parents. They, to put it bluntly, hate homosexuality. Every time the topic of homosexuality comes up, some kind of negative response comes from their mouths. As I play the scenarios through my mind, there is only one ending: abandonment. What's more, I think under all the anger it might cause them, they'd be absolutely crushed. I've got a lot of weight on my shoulders, as my brother has been pretty much a failure in their eyes, and I'm the "golden child," because I don't get into trouble, I go to church regularly, get good grades (I'll even be the first in my family to graduate college in May!). I hate not being able to be completely honest with all of these people, especially my parents. It's not even that I'm living a lie; I don't act any differently around them, they just don't know this one thing about me. I don't know what I'm looking for, but I figured I should finally tell someone, even if it is a group of people I don't know. Thanks for reading, and any general support/advice will be truly appreciated.
Thank you for sharing with me! You just came out to me, and I am very proud of you. I am still a Christian (I'm not a devout Christian). It is ok. Your circumstance is difficult but just you even writing out your thoughts and feelings is a huge step forward. I hope you feel better about all of this. You deserve to be happy. It is good you feel that you do not have to change yourself around your parents. Be yourself. If you keep your personal life under wraps for now, that is totally ok. At least you can be out here at EC. I think you'll find that you can have some great experiences and conversations that will help your situation out. Congrats on graduation college soon, I'm graduating this May too. Yay 2013! Just wanted to let you know, you are not alone! We are all here for you!
I hope you feel a lot better now. I'm in a similar situation. I'm 22 years old and gay. My parents sound just like yours. Honestly a about a month ago I realized that I'm my own person. While I love my parents deeply, I can't continue to withhold this huge part of me just to keep them happy. I know it sounds selfish, but I only have on life to live. I'm not going to live it unhappy. If that results in abandonment, then so be it, and shame on them, but I can't control their lives, and they can't control mine. I'm planning on fully coming out when I get my own place. I just graduated college and am living with them while I look for a place. Let me know if you want to talk.
Thank you both for your kind words! It does feel better to admit it. I may tell my parents ones day, but I'll have to wait for a day when I'm not so dependent on their resources, in case the worst happens. I may try to tell my college friends soon, because I know some of them are bi/pansexual, and are all about being who you really are! I really need to start figuring some stuff out, and living life.
I admire you for coming out. Is a big step. What I'm taking from your parents is that you don't trust them. You will have to tell them at some point. Or, you will have to just give them up. It will start to become a problem for you. You will want to date and it will lead to a lot of crap. At least, that's my opinion. Take your time and figure things out. Form what I've seen in the world, sometimes the People who seem the most homophobic can actually learn to become open. Best of luck!
Yeah, I'm sure it will happen someday. Hopefully when that day comes, it won't be as bad as I think it will.
I literally could have made that post, it is so smack-dab on what my life is like (except I'm not in college, only high school) I know exactly how you feel. My family is outwardly disgusted by gays, besides the fact that they believe all gays go to hell (I'm still trying to figure out if I believe that). I'm in no situation to tell my parents or siblings I'm gay right now, they would freak out. A lot. You will have to keep me updated on when you come out, how your friends react. And eventually, your parents.
