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coming out help

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by grrrlpower, Jan 26, 2013.

  1. grrrlpower

    Regular Member

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    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    i'm out to a few of my friends right now and i want to be out to more of them, but the problem is i'm incredibly uncomfortable with talking about my sexuality or even saying that i'm a lesbian in front of anyone. i feel comfortable with being gay, it's just that i can't bring myself to talk about it. i really don't know how to describe it but i just want to come out and i don't know how. i'm out to three friends and two of them i've come out to over text and we've barely talked about it in person. the fact is is that i've never actually said i'm a lesbian to anyone and no matter how comfortable i can be with it by myself, i can't bring myself to talk about it with anyone else. i don't really know what to do. i have no reason to be like this, my friends are accepting and still love me even though i'm gay. i constantly go over it in my mind and i still don't know what i'm so afraid of. i guess i'm afraid of the conversation being awkward but how do i get past that? whenever i'm with my friends i constantly try and bring it up but i feel like i really can't. i don't know how to be brave. i really just don't know what to do anymore, and i don't think this post even makes sense but i really just need someone to talk to and i don't know what to do.
     
    #1 grrrlpower, Jan 26, 2013
    Last edited: Jan 26, 2013
  2. Splenda

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    I only started coming out as "non straight" over the past few months and I'm the exact same when it comes to being shamefully embarrassed. For a while it seems like you want to scream it at the top of your lungs because being in the closet feels so suffocating but then when push comes to shove I tend chicken out :icon_redf

    I was actually so bad that I had to type it out on my phone when coming out to both my friend and sister, I couldn't have found the words otherwise so you're definately not alone! It did get easier though after breaking the ice within that conversation. Bringing up the subject is the hardest part for me.
     
  3. Chickenlover

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    I had the exact same problem as you for my first few people. I just couldn't get the words over my tongue. What I found helped, bizarre as it may seem, was too stare at a mirror for several minutes each day and announce "I'm gay" out loud to myself. I also wrote it down on paper in lists. I didn't actually think it would help, but since then the awkwardness seems to gone, so it's worth a try.
     
  4. Silvails52

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    How about looking at it this way: you shouldn't have to really come out. Just be yourself. You don't have to talk about your sexuality if you don't want to. If something comes up about boyfriends, you can simply replace that with girlfriends. Be casual about it. It doesn't have to be this sit-down "I'm a lesbian" discussion. But no matter what you do, it can be uncomfortable telling people about this part of yourself. What do you want to talk about with your friends when you want to talk about you being gay?
     
  5. GabrielTai

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    I was going to say exactly this. I never had those sorts of conversations with people. I can't remember a time where I actually said "I'm a lesbian" unless some guy was relentlessly hitting on me and he just didn't take the hint that I wasn't interested. I just went on as normal with my friends, and if it came up in conversation, I was honest about it. People would ask me about guys I liked and instead of being like "ew guys" I'd just start listing girls I thought were attractive. If you don't make a big deal of it, chances are they won't either.