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hmm...do I got a date?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Deaf Not Blind, Jan 27, 2013.

  1. Deaf Not Blind

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    Hi!

    So...interesting thing just happened.

    I was at the cafe at school and a girl comes up HI! I know her, she is the ultra-feminist who thought at first on FB I was cis-gender male and wanted to convert me to feminist.

    Then she met me in person, and I assume since she is hearing and hears my voice can tell I am born female-bodied. She looks like a lesbian, but maybe bi or whatever. She blushed and giggled and said we should hang out. But later on her post I wrote a word she didn't like so I figured unfreind and bye bye, right? I am def not a kiss-butt, not a feminist, and not a liberal.

    So you can imagine my surprise in her actions. So smiley, came right up to me. I signed to sit, but she had to take food to her roomy...and she sign STAY you STAY...so I joke in voice and sign OK STAY GOOD BOY! And grinned. She giggled and said shed be right back. A while later she comes back to say she can't stay. Then she almost shyly asked could she give me her phone number. hmm... sure i say. I get out my phone. I joke how waiting it slow. She giggles and jokes bout it in sign smiling. I get it on, but she is giggling. I ask her number and put in a message fast of HI, so it is about to dye. She keeps giggling. and asked if we can maybe tomorrow meet here, for dinner? I say sure! see ya later.

    um...hmm...
    interesting.
    Did I mention opposites attract, and she is blond?
     
  2. Mochi

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    This is adorable! :grin: hope everything works out. Give us the details for how it goes!:thumbsup:
     
  3. Fate

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    :slight_smile: Hope it all goes well...
     
  4. Deaf Not Blind

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    tee hee!
    i know...she is physically my type too! So i have sent signals i know...but i swear i maybe a dense meat head, but tonight...thems were signals she likes me! :grin:

    i will tell you after our dinner...or whenever the night ends.
     
  5. 4AllEternity

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    Sounds like a date to me lol. Hope it goes well ^_^
     
  6. BoiGeorge

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    Yay! Hope it goes well! :grin:
     
  7. Deaf Not Blind

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    abt 3-4 more hours...
     
  8. prism

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    Ohhh blonde :wink:

    That's awesome! It's a weird fantasy, but I've always wondered what it would be like to date someone who is hard of hearing. I think I'm mostly interested in how people interact with language boundaries.

    ANYWAY, good luck!
     
  9. Deaf Not Blind

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    Oh she is a student learning ASL to be an interpreter! She signs! :slight_smile:

    And I texted her (text looks a lot like sex don't it) and said i was heading to class and how about dinner at 7?

    She text back: "YES!"

    Okay, I am more sure...she likey me! tee hee!

    so in less than 2 hours I am on my first official date...ever. I didn't accept other guys dates, just put them off into friendzone. I got a bit of cologne on from Macys, but it is almost worn off as I put it on earlier today. I showered, and put clean socks on! I tried to make my hair okay, but fresh washed fur goes wild. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: (i wish I could kiss but I want to wait and save it...) my goal is to tease her, get her giggling, and talk about whatever she wants. And if it goes well, ask her to see Lincoln the movie...not romantic, but not really intimidating...and we do have in common advocacy so seeing history of black slavery actually could be bonding. and i know she is women's libber, but if I see a door I am going to open it for her! I am chivalrous...so kill me!
     
  10. Deaf Not Blind

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    ok, im gonna do homework, then bed. but here is what happened:

    she was 5 min late me 10 min early. i only had tea made, she came and we went in long line for pasta. tomatoes out! she suggest cherry, i sign they have sliced so i can chop. i saved her place as she got other food, then i offered some of chopped tomatoes. she teased me on eating pepperoni, i joked of killing cows to eat steak.

    we discussed many topics. she told me casually in conversation in ASL she discovered at college she's vegetarian and lesbian. i signed right away then I'm transgender. she asked what pronouns i use, i said male. she showed me signs for femme and butch, sadly i think both are derogatory, butch reminds me of an ape hitting his chest, femme worse means patties and tasles and signed in front of tits. i saw none for males, idk if that means she dent care or didn't know or there is none for twinks and bears etc.

    she got a text near end of dinner by her ex, and she told me that her ex is a weird student here. (never talk abt exes on any 1st date!) we were last to leave, so i asked if i can take her plates. i didn't run to open doors or anything over the top. but when we went up stairs (turns out we live same dorm, but she's 3 more flights up) i asked if it was ok to walk her up to 6th floor so she is safely home.

    we talked more and i said you look tired, but before i left said if she has no plans to text me on weekend maybe we can do something together. so its open for either of us to ask each other out now. :slight_smile: I'm clever huh?

    idk if cuz she knows I'm a guy not butch if that maybe would kill her attraction, or if she still has crush on me and can be open minded. I'm hoping if she's liberal she can accept not just a meat eating church goer, but another boy-friend. that is the problem with being untransitioned trans...they all want you to be what they see not what is inside. and I'm a nice guy. i hope she saw that in my deeds.
     
    #11 Deaf Not Blind, Jan 28, 2013
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2013
  11. BoiGeorge

    BoiGeorge Guest

    Sounds like your stuck between a rock and a hard place :/ hopefully she can see you as the boy you are :slight_smile:
     
  12. Deaf Not Blind

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    yup...and hopefully she thought I'm a polite fun guy...and will tell all the chicks, queer and straight...that I'm not a girl at all.
     
  13. FranklinK

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    I think she would be lucky to have a great guy like you man. I don't think you did anything wrong during the date and she seemed extremely perceptive and receptive to your needs and wants during the date. The one thing that throws me off is that she responded to ta text from her ex during the date :/

    Hopefully you two can spend some time together this weekend!
     
  14. Kgirl

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    Hmm if she is lesbian will that be a problem? If she's not attracted to guys them theres not much she can do about that... But maybe it's not s problem for her idk. I hope it works out well for you anyway :slight_smile:
     
  15. Deaf Not Blind

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    Exactly! Everything else, even at her door..she showed me a drawing of herself on it ( had 4 roomies in crayon) seemed like we are on a friendly basis now, no hate, no dislike, so all is good. And she smiled a bit when i mentioned the weekend. But I would NEVER read or respond to a text from an ex during a date! :O and that is what Rule #1! I think they even joke abt it on comedy sketches. Wanna spoil your chances for a 2nd? Insert Ex here! haha! IDK if she realized what she was doing when she said oh i gotta read this...hold on (thats when i offered to take her plates away, cuz she is busy and the cafe is closed) and came back she is smiling but in an upset way girls do, and shook her head and said you should see this it is a text from my ex, ( no pronouns in ASL) he is weiiirrdd, student here on campus, ugh! then blah blah a bit abt how he is weird, and I'm just "ok". then i take cups away, and come back, and i say they are closed we are last here, but deaf always are late leaving...got coat on, and asked if she had been to many deaf events then explained how we have long good byes and everybody hugs and hangs outside in rain even talking 2 more house in the dark, and hugs good bye again (men hug men too btw) so i think it went well...but i think i actually did a better job, cuz no ex! :grin:

    ---------- Post added 29th Jan 2013 at 02:04 PM ----------

    From what little i know abt others..lesbians will go after transmen, find out they don't and never have identified as a girl lesbian and claim they love them no matter what...and as they transition they are there supporting them...but as the man calls it a straight relationship the lesbian calls it Queer...and by the time he is all transitioned but the penis and says that is next, she disappears.

    so...
    moral of the story i got from that observation is lesbians want chicks no dicks...and they may claim to love you, but it ends at the balls...so if you want her to think you are a lesbian go be a girl with her...cuz she will never fucking love you for the real you even if she says she does, she wants you cus in her mind you are a women. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    and that hurts.

    idk if all are that way, i hope not, but I'm betting it is...and i bet few girls will be able to love me as i am...they will want me to be what they want me to be for them...and i like all guys can't do that. it is like some dream that they can "change our minds"...i had a girl tell me i was "too complicated be simple just be a lesbian"...now how exactly do i do that? let me see...im not a female for men to fuck, but just make some lesbian happy be a female so she can do whatever they get off on? hell no! sad for them, i don't do stuff that way, and it does not appeal to me, my mind has a plan of its own, and if she don't want....

    well...that is where i am with this one. will she want me? or will she want her illusion?
     
  16. FranklinK

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    That would have made me so mad. That is the most selfish statement I have ever heard. 'Don't be yourself, be what I want you to be.' Utter Bullshit.
     
  17. Deaf Not Blind

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    Yeah, she is a piece of work alright. And yet she has a lot of lesbians crawling all over to get her. weird.

    So of course that tainted all my perceptions for lesbians forever as well...yeah.

    When we do stuff and say stuff, we don't realize that we represent some group, but we do! 1st experiences make lasting impressions, and lead us to prejudice. 1st Women's libber I met, Ms. Liz, evil! So I have a strong dislike for that group. 1st Deaf girl I met, more Christ-like than the pastor! So I have a strong love for that group. List goes on forever on every 1st I had, and if it was really bad or really good relationship, then not just the person but the group they most strongly represent is going to get it too.

    You know, we can use this for good?

    If every gay man and translady and asexual a gender person on here go about daily life doing what they love and are humble, kind, and caring...I think it will impress upon others who never met one before something that could change the future for Queers...better. Just think about it...
     
  18. Kgirl

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    That sucks... :frowning2: I guess some people just don't understand.
     
  19. Deaf Not Blind

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    hmm..well update.

    She saw me today in library, hugged me, I shared some berries i had.
    Tonight she saw me in cafe. Left her coat and book bag with me but kept going over to the gay table. No she didn't invite me. Eventually before she went to dorm I asked if she had plans for weekend in sign but she not undy, so in voice i ask if she is doing anything this weekend.
    she said go out...going out where? go out downtown walking she signs. i sign I'm planning same, likely 9am start out.
    ok, but she didn't say oh wanna go with me, or maybe i will see you on bus, or any hint of going out...together.
    *sigh*
    she likely just sees me as cute funny transguy, another Queer friend of many Queers. sad....
    I don't feel like lesbians do...her excitement in lesbianism and being femme was really clear. i don't feel a need to sit at a gay only table or to find all the Quuers and friend them on campus.
    I feel like a guy. Just a guy. Just a sad nice guy who evidently didn't get the girl...and walked off into the sunset alone.
    The End.

    ---------- Post added 1st Feb 2013 at 06:43 PM ----------

    ok...should I just leave it as the end? or should i try to peruse a little? i can use my cell phone when I'm in downtown and say hi. want to see a movie? what u think? quit or try? she is lesbian...but...she is so cute and still kinda flirty and why leave your valuables with me?