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I feel disgusted with myself

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by danf1993, Jan 27, 2013.

  1. danf1993

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    Tonight I went and met up with a guy and his partner, both older than me (one around 35 and the other a lot older), we just did oral but did not swallow. I hate myself because of it, I feel like a whore and a slut. I've scrubbed myself hard many times even washing my mouth out with soap. Sorry if this sort of thing shouldn't be on here but I just need to tell someone about it.
     
  2. ForceAndVerve

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    Don't think about it much. We all make mistakes. You're not a whore or slut for doing it.
     
  3. isobella

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    I did exactly the same immediately after I was raped and made my way home. I was still in shock, and the realization that I had been raped hadn't yet set in. It just got worse.
    I'm very sorry to hear this happened to you. It is a very traumatic event, and I urge you to get professional help or report to the police if it was non-consentual/forced/against your will.
     
  4. danf1993

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    It was consensual and the people I did it with were nice, sorry if I implied that it was forced /raped.
     
  5. MattGuy

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    You are not a whore/slut at all. You just wanted to experiment it sounds like. You may have moved too quickly and weren't really ready. The fantasy of something is usually different than doing it in real life. Try to think of it as a learning experience and not entirely as something negative, even if it wasn't enjoyable.
     
  6. darlig ulv

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    Everybody makes mistakes, don't be too hard on yourself for it. Just learn from your mistakes and avoid a situation like this next time.
     
  7. FallenAngel

    FallenAngel Guest

    You're being way too hard on yourself! It's okay. We all have sexual needs and every once in a while we do something we regret. Take it easy and sleep on it. Each day is a new day!
     
  8. PeteNJ

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    Its ok to want sex.

    Even if that's not wrapped in romance, love, intimacy.

    Don't be hard on yourself for learning about yourself, others. And do give yourself a pat on the back for taking a chance to explore your sexual needs.

    Seems like you're making it all negative. It might be based on your expectations.

    Take a breath, don't make it mean more than it is, and move ahead working on doing what makes you happy.

    Peace
     
  9. GayLibertarian

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    We've all done something we'll regret, but all you can do is move on, and use it to keep from doing something else you'll regret. It's a lesson we all unfortunately learn the hard way, and I can't stress how important it is to move on.
     
  10. Deaf Not Blind

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    yeah, what is enticing on porn, it is gross often in real life. them are ACTORS! ya know? like in commercials saying a peanut butter is so good...then you buy cuz the kids are scarfing it down, but it is inedible? THAT!

    so you fell for false advertising. you didn't use any protection so you should get tested for herpes. but now you know not to believe all that you see in video is really good. try next time to wait until somebody cute giggles at your jokes and play it slow...then whatever you both end up doing will not feel gross.
     
  11. ezkill

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    Some things are better left as fantasies. You aren't disgusting at all. As long as you were safe and you accept the consequences that may come with meeting up for sex. It's not for me, but who are we to judge you? You're only human.
     
  12. Chip

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    Hi, Dan, and welcome to EC.

    I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. Unfortunately, I think the majority of guys who hook up with older guys end up feeling the same way, so you're not alone. Don't think badly of yourself, just learn from the experience so you don't put yourself in the same situation again.

    Making connections and dealing with your hormones can cause people to make unwise choices at times. Give yourself permission for this mistake and remind yourself that you're still a loving and loveable guy, and just take this as a learning experience. :slight_smile: