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Date Advice! Uncensored!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Cecil, Jan 27, 2013.

  1. Cecil

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    Lady's and Gentelmen,

    What advise would you give to someone who was going on a date? Be it their first, 2nd, or 100th! Be it general advice (like take condoms or eliminate bad breath!) to naughty advice (position 69, not as easy as it sounds).

    This is meant to be fun and educational people! So let the fun begin!!!!(!)

    Ps: If your going to take someone out to a dinner date make sure that you have at least eaten there once! There is nothing worse than saying a restaurant is good then finding out DURING your date that it is not!! Not only does it make you look like an idiot but also that your taste buds are out of wack. Just saying.
     
  2. 4AllEternity

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    I haven't been on an a real date yet, not counting one I went on with a female crush of mine about 3 years ago. It really wasn't that exciting (we had platonic fun, just chatting and eating :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:), I hadn't yet realized I was mostly gay, so I ended just getting bored of it, we both parted on good terms.

    However, I did prep pretty well for the date, and she seemed interested during the date itself, so some stuff I'd recommend beyond the obvious aesthetics (looking nice, fresh breath, blah blah) would be to think of some good conversation points beforehand. Don't plan conversations to the word, but think of ideas and just go with them. During a date, there's a lot of pressure to keep the conversation flowing, so you don't have much opportunity to pause and think of something.
     
  3. KTWK

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    Confidence is attractive, and remember to be honest and be yourself; if they fall for someone that's not you, they might as well have not fallen at all.
     
  4. redstormrising

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    Pay attention to how your date treats the waitstaff. If he/she is abusive or demeaning to them, eventually he/she will treat you that way, too.
     
  5. 4AllEternity

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    Yeah, I'd definitely pay attention to that. Not even just the waiters, but other people in general. Does your date do things like say "excuse me" when squeezing by someone, apologize when bumping into someone, thanks waiters/retail employees, etc. Basically, do they seem respectful to people when they stand to gain nothing from it.

    I'd also pay attention to how they treat you. Are they relaxed, do they seem to just be there to have fun, or do they have ulterior motives, like getting in your pants. I'd personally say the best date would be one where the guy expresses an interest in me, but is not pushy about it. He just confidently and subtly makes it obvious he likes me, but respects my desires. Basically someone who's willing to be a gentleman, put my needs (in regards to the speed of the relationship) above his own, if he happens to lean towards faster paced relationships. I'm definitely not asking for him to put every need of mine above his own, but in the case of pace, that would really make me respect him(/her).
     
  6. photoguy93

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    I've never gone on a date with a guy, but have had plenty of "dates" with my girls.

    I agree with everything said - look nice, smell nice, be nice. Know the restaurant! Even if they don't like you, you can at least be confident and say "but I know the food is good!"

    OR, you could go someplace that's totally different. The good point of that is if you both hate it, it could just be funny!

    I love the point about conversation - think of things to ask. I recently went to dinner with a friend who was visiting from college, and it was awkward for a bit because we are both shy. But once we started going through the list of typical conversation points, it became a lot of fun!

    And make a good first impression! But don't feel like you have to overdo it! Be smart about it - if you're going to a sporting event, don't act like it's a dinner at the Ritz. Know what I mean?
     
  7. PurpleCrab

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    General tip- Take some care about your appearance, smell and feel, even if the place you're meant to go is pretty laid back. Nobody likes to have a date whose had an heavy work day (and no shower!) right before; having a little subtle prepping up right before makes the whole difference. For women who are at ease, a touch of make-up, for everyone, a good body scent, fresh clean clothes and paying attention to little details. There's nothing wrong with skipping to the restrooms at a restaurant after a meal to brush your teeth and freshen up, too.

    A naughty advice (just because you proposed it :wink: ): For physical contacts, let the person know you are open to them but let them do it first. What I mean is, don't go ahead into their personal space and expect them to feel at ease, especially the first date... but give obvious signs that you are open to it, openings if you will. That's a non-verbal thing. It only takes once, a brush of the back of the hand, or your date to get close enough to you to brush your shoulder, and then that's your cue to be bolder. That requires a 100% focus on how your date feels so you're sure to perceive even the slightest sign of discomfort from their part and if that happens, humbly take back a bit of distance. Only that they went ahead and touched first, even if they evaded afterwards, means that you've sowed a seed there. And they know that you are attentive and respectful enough to be conscious of that. They will eventually get back to you (if there's nothing that's troubling them per say).
    Getting physical with a date is a lot about body language, what's between the lines, basically. And somebody who is excellent with body language is usually also just as good in bed...