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Feeling kind of down - maybe see a therapist?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by speedracing22, Jan 27, 2013.

  1. speedracing22

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    For the past few weeks I've been feeling kind of down....

    A while back I started going to a social worker because I was unhappy being bi/gay. I was pretty much a closet case at the time. I went for a year, until I finally had the balls to bring it up about 6 months ago. I mentioned it, and how it was bothering me, and we talked about it once or twice, and she's never brought it up again. Since then I've also told 2 close friends.

    I am at a point now where I am more accepting of it. I really don't care if people know. But I am still unhappy about it... I actually really don't know why I am unhappy (if that makes sense)...

    I feel like this social worker sucks. I tell her things going on in my life, and I don't really get anything out of it. I am a person that typically keeps things to myself. So most of our appointments start out with her asking what I did over the weekend, me complaining about my job - - stupid crap that in reality doesn't matter. Every few appointments I will mention something bothering me. We will talk about it, and she never brings it up again. I feel like I am paying to talk to someone to just listen, and it would be nice to get more out of this?

    Shouldn't a social worker do something else besides listen? I really need someone to challenge me. I want someone who sees through my happy bullshit act. Is it because of me that this isn't working out? I feel like when I am open to her, she never brings anything up again so it's pointless. Also for $150 a f-ing hour it wouldn't kill someone to give me some feedback....

    Also what I hate is that she sometimes asks me stupid questions like "is that the new iphone? - "what do you think of siri?" - - and I feel like it's a waste of time... Or she tells me about her kids...

    So I guess I am thinking about looking for someone new. Is it me? Should I find a new social worker? Is a psychologist any better? How do I find someone good? And what makes a good social worker?

    As for why I am unhappy, I am not really sure. I feel like my social life kind of sucks right now. People tell me I am social and outgoing, but I really don't see it. Also, I have a friend that I am in one of those confusing "I think he's gay / maybe hes not" type of friendships where my friend acts weird and plays passive aggressive. It's really just tiring and wearing me down. And on top of that I actually miss going to school. I have 2 classes left to graduate and I have to wait until summer to finish. I feel like going back to school would be something good for my social life. And on top of all that I don't really know if I want to be with a guy or a girl, because I rarely meet either that I like. Sexually I like both, and I guess I like guys more, but I never really met a guy I like (except my friend above ^). All of this kind of sucks. I feel old at 23....
     
  2. Deaf Not Blind

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    Yeah, expensive to have just somebody listen. worse that she wastes time on her kids chatter. maybe find a guy? maybe you can look up other good ones online? i think psychologists suck (freudian stuff) and therapists may be all you need. i also think maybe getting out more and time will help heal the sadness. and yeah, the time of year...i been told them indoor sun lamp things for depression do help some. cheaper than your therapist.
     
  3. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

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    A good social worker has the same skills as a psychologist. But there are a lot of crappy social workers out there, probably more than psychologists.

    However, any therapist really has no business asking you about your iphone, Siri, or telling you about her kids... so based on what you're saying, I'd say you definitely need to find another therapist. You should make calls and talk to a half dozen of them for a few minutes and get a feel for how they interact on the phone. You can ask them about their approach, their theoretical orientation, and get a general idea of what sort of rapport you're likely to have from that before you spend any money to try them out.

    And feel free to bail after a couple of sessions if you don't feel a connection. As I said, sometimes it takes some effort to find one you click with... but once you do, the progress you can make can be pretty amazing.
     
  4. Jim1454

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    I was VERY lucky to find a social worker right off the bat who worked well for me. It sounds like you need to see someone new.

    This can also be a venue for you to talk about how you're feeling about your orientation. If the therapist hasn't bothered to ask about it, we can...

    So, what about being bi/gay do you think makes you unhappy or sad?
     
  5. Eletricalmonkss

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    Yeah I understand how you feel and yeah I'm also pretty lonely. Having quite the experience with social workers it sounds like you're not really benefitting anything from seeing this person. Look for some good therapists because if you're not taking anything worthwhile from this you're wasting your time.