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Going to LGBT Club Meeting?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by quicksplash, Jan 28, 2013.

  1. quicksplash

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    San Jose
    Gender:
    Male
    Out Status:
    Some people
    So there's an upcoming meeting coming up really really, really soon.
    I sort of want to go but of course, I've got some hesistation/doubts
    that I would like to have addressed if possible.

    I'm not sure what the people there are like. I mean, there's no
    guarantee that just because we have this common thing, that we'll like each other.

    I'm not good with people and joinin clubs in the hope of improving
    my social life, making friends has not worked out for me. As Buble
    says 'I get all worked up then I let myself down'. But thats another
    story for another time...It's ..hard.

    This club is at another college, different from where I'm going.
    There's a club at my school, but I feel that I'd be more interested in
    going to said former school's club since its more specific for people
    of a similar cultural background. Would this be okay?-that its at another school? I'm worried
    that this would be awkward, which I avoid as much as I can since I
    already have loads of that. (hmm I'll try to cut back on self-
    deprecating now.)

    I'm also not out, or as I would say if I had to say, I'd say that I was
    probably , and not actually say that I was. And I also don't yet feel comfortable using the word gay. I can accept the possibility that someone from high school might see me. But I don't think that I'd have to be out to go to the meeting right?

    The meeting is basically tomorrow evening. Help.!
     
  2. care77

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2013
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    Location:
    uk
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Hi, I went to my first group last week and was feeling very similar to you. I went anyway and it could of gone better, I won't lie, but I went and whilst I'm not sure it's the right group for me i have a clearer idea of where to head next time. This group may not be ideal for you but I don't think you find out unless you try. Good luck.
     
  3. PeteNJ

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2012
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    Location:
    NJ
    I've been going to a coming out group and an lgbt group regularly for about a month now.

    First time I walked in (which was also my first time at an lgbt/pride center) was, like, take a deep breath...do it, you know you want to, you know you need it.

    Walked into the room, and I had my rose colored glasses on. A couple of young guys (high school/ college), and I thought, oh, well, this won't work. What's the worst, I'll spend 90 minutes here and realize its not for me. Within a few minutes, the room was filled with a mix of guys. And every one of them was fantastic, smart, open, welcoming.

    Now I consider these groups my lifeline in accepting myself and coming out. I've learned so much about myself and gay men/ lgbt people.

    One of the groups I go to is a gay men's coming out group. For me being with other men going through this is important. We talk about a lot of stuff that might not be gay man specific, but also about gay sex (bottom, top, how, where, etc) -- and I don't think the conversation would be as open with women there. My other group is LGBT men & women, and that offers a broader perspective, which is also very cool.

    Go with an open mind, without too many expectations. And go more than once, once isn't enough to see how the group really works.

    My coming out group -- "give us 26 weeks, we'll give you your life" -- and I'm betting its true, really.