Ive only recently fully accepted that i'm not straight and more than likely bisexual(although i'm pretty sure i always knew and just put it to the back of my mind) but should i talk about it to a family member or friend? should i wait for a while longer? I am not worried about their reactions too much except for my best friend who told me she feels uncomfortable talking to her lesbian dorm mate since she found out she was gay.
There isn't any set time line - we're all different. If you think you'd feel better by bringing this up with someone who is close to you and you think would be understanding - then go ahead and do so. You don't even need to give yourself a lable - just let that person know that you're questioning - because that can be quite unerving and having someone to talk to about it can be helpful.
I know i don't want to give myself a label but it's very nerve wracking in fact i almost talked with my sister today but couldn't do it so i might drop a few hints to her first see how she reacts.
Just make sure you're totally sure. That would be really awkward if you came out and then realized your hormones were acting weird or something.
Here's my suggestion. If you feel emotional about it, talk with someone who won't go "whoa whoa whoa hold your horses, don't want a tearfest in here!" For me, it was a WRECK coming out to the first person. I picked someone who would be really supportive, I called them on Skype. I'll skip through the introductory speech. If you want to see that, check the thread that I started called "And now what?" and you'll see my whole story there. Anyway, it came to that sentence: "I'm gay." Well, the first thing my friend said: "Do your parents know?" "No, I don't think I could ever handle telling them." *on verge of tears* "Well, to be honest, you're not the first person to tell me first." *Well conversation just got really awkward. Was half-expecting him to say "hey I'm gay too!"* *I break down* "WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO WITH MY FUTURE?" It turned into a 40 minute, super-awkward conversation. Good thing no one else was home. To be honest, once I came out the first time, the rest of the people I told were stress-free... just a "yep, I'm gay." Most of the times, they asked. So my suggestion is talk to someone who will be supportive and understand that this is a difficult process, and you pretty much don't want to make it awkward and hard for them to handle. SO TO SUMMARIZE: If you're emotional, hold back. Make it casual, but to the point. Your heart can beat as fast as it wants, but don't let it show. A trick I saw on the internet to do this (didn't use it though) is to do it in a public place on a platonic outing - this will allow your embarrassment to hide your emotion. Best of luck! -E.F.
The problem i have is that i dont have any close friends where i live although i do have a work friend i get on really well with who is bi but i don't know if i should talk to her because i work with her. I'm very sure i'm not straight the more i think about it there were definate signs and instances from a young age that point to me liking girls in a non platonic way so i'm sure its not just my hormones or a passing curiosity.
I am in a similar position to you and I know what you mean about having pushed the idea to the back of your mind. Ive recently accepted that Im not straight but really confused about what to call myself. I dont think im completely lesbian (like 5 on the kinsey scale) but i definitely dont like the label bisexual so im a little confused too. Good luck with whatever you choose to do. Im thinking of doing what some other posters said: Maybe tell somebody I trust but dont label myself as gay or bi. I think i will just flat out say 'im not straight' and then however the conversation goes from there, so be it. Luckily there are one or two people I trust and might tell who I know are quite open to these kinds of ideas and Im fairly sure they had already suspected the truth about me.....
Well, if you think she'll respect you and understand you, then go for it. Believe me, it feels much better once you're out, it's just one big leap. Script what you say, if that helps. Best of luck. -E.F.
Oh, and I know that people dont always agree with the whole idea of the kinsey scale. I only use it because for me right now its the easiest way to explain who i am. I know labels arent necessary but they can be helpful
Thank you for your advice guys i really appreciate it i think ill ask her to meet me somewhere for lunch or something and talk to her about it. Good luck hkraised i hope everything goes well for you.
