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Self-Esteem and Depression Advice

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by midwestgirl89, Jan 29, 2013.

  1. midwestgirl89

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    I've been suffering from lower than usual self-esteem and depression for a year or more. Bad depression for about 5 months. I get really lonely and stupid stuff. I'm looking for suggestions on how to increase confidence and feelings of self-worth. How can you start liking yourself again? How do you start feeling alive? I went from feeling pretty confident in 2010 to being not at all confident or self-assure, is that normal? I've always had low self-esteem but I think it's getting worse with depression. Do you have any advice?
     
    #1 midwestgirl89, Jan 29, 2013
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  2. Anthemic

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    I am very sorry that you are feeling this way. I know what it's like to feel extremely down and have low self worth, My advice is to seek professional help. I got help from a psychiatrist when I was 15. He prescribed me with Lexapro, and within a matter of weeks, the depression began to fade. I had my motivation back and I felt a lot more confident. Another thing I think you should do is, try surround yourself with positive people and a positive environment.
     
  3. PeteNJ

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    The past year I was sliding deeper into depression. By the end of the summer/early fall it was awful, really. I lived in the depression pit for a few months, then realized to get out I needed to get help and starting researching therapists. FOund a great one.

    Didn't take long to realize that I wasn't living an authentic life, about my sexuality and other things. Started working on it. Getting out with other people and lgbt/gay support groups.

    And I started getting better, lots better. I'm actually pretty happy and excited now. I know my path to being well isn't over yet, I know I'm not going from suicidal to blissful in 16 weeks. But I'm in a place far from where I was.

    Years ago, when life was bleak, a friend told me "now is not your time to be strong, its your time to be weak" -- meaning, build a support system including counselor, friends, new friends/groups of people dealing with the same thing.

    midwestgirl, I wish for you to take the first steps you need toward healing.
     
  4. midwestgirl89

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    Thanks for your advice and for sharing your stories. I'm trying to find a counselor now because it's gotten pretty bad. I can't live like this. I felt accomplished when I made it to the new year because it was so bad. Most people around me don't realize I'm that depressed so I might try to ask help from a friend or something too. That's really hard to do though.

    ---------- Post added 29th Jan 2013 at 04:10 PM ----------

    I need to get out of the house more. It's really cold all the time so I can't exercise which is an integral part of what usually makes me feel better. Exercise and music together are important to me. If I can't exercise with music, I feel a part of me is missing. It's my healthiest coping mechanism. My other coping mechanisms aren't as healthy so I can't wait until the weather changes...
     
  5. castle walls

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    Is there any way that you can exercise inside? Personally, I like yoga and strength training exercises
     
  6. 4AllEternity

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    It sounds like medication might really help you. I don't advocate medication as an instant, 100% fix to depression, but in many cases it's required to actually be capable of putting in the work to pull yourself back up. Basically, combine medication with therapy, with socializing more. The medication will enable you to get better. Just make sure that you use the lowest dose that works for you, and that once you've been free of depression for a while, slowly wean yourself off of it (don't go cold turkey).

    You can talk to a doctor about the various possible medications. Depending on the pathology of your particular case, you might need a typical SSRI like Prozac, or an SNRI like Cymbalta, and sometimes the opposite of an SSRI, an SSRE like Stablon. Antidepressants usually take 2-4 weeks to start working completely, ideally you should notice a steady lifting of the "dark moods" you have. It shouldn't be anything drastic, just a sense of feeling "lighter", more able to be calm and happy. Definetly don't rely on the drug alone to help you, since the long-term goal is to cure the root cause of your depression; the medication should be used to allow you to do that, not as a cure on it's own. It'll help you feel more up to socializing with people, increasing your general mood, and more able to handle stress. That way you'll be able to take the steps to change your lifestyle to make you happier.

    You'll probably have to try a few drugs before finding one that works best for you, with minimal side-effects. Give each drug at least 2 weeks before judging it, then if you want to change, wait a week or two before trying another one. Don't be afraid to ask your doctor to swap meds, it's normal procedure.
     
  7. midwestgirl89

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    Thanks castle and 4 all. I don't like exercising inside but I could try. I prefer being outside more than anything. But I could try. 4all, thanks when I get an appointment with a counselor I'll talk to them about medicine It might help since nothing else has really.
     
  8. 4AllEternity

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    I guarantee it will. The first one you try might not work, it might even make it a little worse. The point is not giving up and trying a variety of medications until you find one that works. They all work in various different ways, since feelings of depression can be caused by many different chemical imbalances in the brain. Just remember that the medication is supposed to enable you to find and resolve the actual source of your depression, and that eventually you'll want to slowly ease off on them. Also, try to use the lowest dose that works for you. The lower the dose, the easier it will be to eventually stop using the drug. But make sure you use enough to notice an effect. Follow the doctor's advice regarding it, don't skip days. As for a rough timeline of how long you want to use it for, I'd personally advise 2-3 months once you've found one that works for you. During that time, work through your issues, then talk to your doctor about weaning yourself off of them.

    What you should expect after a couple of weeks on the right drug, is slowly feeling less helpless, you'll notice that you don't slide into a pit of sadness/boredom/pain as easily. You'll feel more able to handle the pressure of life. Take advantage of this to work through your problems.
     
    #8 4AllEternity, Jan 30, 2013
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  9. Naomilly92

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    My advice would be to see a counsellor, someone you can talk to, and get out there, do anything, even if it's going out for no reason, just do it, cause getting out the house allows you to see more of the world. I would also recommend spending time with friends or maybe join a youth group or social group so you won't feel so alone
     
  10. Crazyguy

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    I would suggest going to see a doctor in addition to seeing a counselor. The doctor can send you for tests and properly diagnose you. A counselor or therapist will give you someone you can talk with.

    30 minutes of exercise 5 days a week will also be a big help. Since you enjoy music put on some tunes and dance. It would be one way of getting some exercise indoors.

    If you are clinically depressed there is help available so don't think things will not get any better because with the right treatment they will.
     
  11. HP7465213

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    Look at Crazyguy's avatar: Smile Dammit! Lol. I went through a time a few years ago when I had super low self confidence. I would tell myself to smile at myself in the mirror, and it actually would help me! Also, working out normally does the trick for me. A quick run or a walk can really boost self confidence and keep you happy :slight_smile: Smile! It will get better!