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I am slightly confused.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Hawthorne, Jan 29, 2013.

  1. Hawthorne

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    Hello! It has been quite some time since I have been here in actuality and needing advice. So I like men have always like men, dated solely men always and now am winding up with emotional feelings towards a female. I don't quite know what to do with this because I like the person but I can't say I want things to go super far because I have kissed this person, and it wasn't exactly the same as it was before when I was with a guy I wasn't attracted to it. Kinda just made me blank there wasn't really any sort of feeling that I can describe that would be correct. So I still have feelings for this person but I can't sort my feelings out whether they are just emotional attachment or sexual feelings(fairly sure that's not the case with the kiss) and I mean people have told me to just see where it goes but I would rather jump out of the way now and possibly remain friends or wait and see how it goes and see it go up in flames. Help? I am so puzzled by all of this.
     
  2. PeteNJ

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    I fell in love with a woman 4 years ago. Not what I expected would happen. She's remarkable, our relationship has been great. Intimacy amazing. The one exception, the sex is nice, but not amazing.

    And now, I know it can't last. Not so much that I couldn't find things to be happy with with her. But because I've accepted myself as gay. And straddling 2 worlds, that isn't for me. But that's a very personal choice that may be different for you.

    If other guys are what excites you sexually -- could you imagine yourself in 6 months, a year waking up next to this girl and not next to a guy?

    Its always nice to have someone think you're special, fun, great, and be flirty -- male or female. How far you take it, you need to go with your heart and at least somewhat with your head, too.
     
  3. cm81990

    cm81990 Guest

    My emotional attraction towards females has declined over time, but every once and in a while I'll end up meeting one that I click with. I'm still not totally out, but at the same time I try to avoid girls. One actually did have me slightly confused last fall. The kissing kept getting me highly aroused and I enjoyed her closeness.... But when I really thought about it, I was just responding to the closeness of her body, not her in general. Just go with the flow. You may over time end up wanting her in "that way."
     
  4. BudderMC

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    If you didn't enjoy kissing her, I'd suspect you wouldn't be attracted to going any further with her either.

    Now the questions are: would you be okay pursuing a relationship with basically no sexual attraction? Would she be okay with a relationship that has basically no sexual attraction?

    For some people, a relationship without sex (or really, attraction in general) is fine. But for the majority of people it isn't. And if one or both of you can know right from the start that that's not something you're okay with, then you should probably call it off.