I've been dealing with my sexual orientation for maybe about 2 1/2-3 years. Ever since I first realized I was gay, I feel I've changed, and I've been looking at myself lately and saying, "I am such a mess. I'm gay, and I do not know if I'm ready for the bigotry and prejudice in the world, or to cut it short and just end it all." (not that I'm going to commit suicide or anything). My emotions have been driving my life crazy lately and I don't know what to do. I feel like my life is spirling out of control, and I fear this is affecting my grades, too. I also fear the future, whether or not I'll be accepted by my friends and/or family, or whether or not I'll find a boyfriend/partner to love forever. I really need some advice...
My advice. Relax. I'm sure most people here were once in your shoes and feared the same things. I know I did. Just remember that YOU are in control. Unfortunately, there is bigotry and prejudice in the world. That won't go away. But, you can learn to avoid it/ignore it. Or stand up against it... maybe when you have support behind you though. And now that you are a member of EC you certainly have a LOT of support behind you. I was once afraid that if I told anyone about me my life would change and I wouldn't have any friends, as it turns out my life DID change. For the better. You've taken the first step already. So breathe. We're here for you. One day you will find a partner/boyfriend. But that is a worry for another time. In my opinion you shouldn't be focussing on that right now. Don't fear for the future. Look forward to it! There are literally endless amounts of possibilities. We could all sit down and talk about the worst case scenarios of the things we face, but we don't and we shouldn't. We still have to move on, move through them. Move past them. Life experiences are there to help us grow as people and become the people we see in our heads when we see our dream lives. About acceptance from your friends and family? Is there anyone you think you MIGHT be able to talk to about it?
Hi Drosewood, I'm sorry to hear you are struggling. I can tell you that you will bounce back from all of this! My initial guy reaction is that you should find a way to express all of these feelings you are having. Just based off of your out status-maybe you can lean on some of the friends you are out too for support. Have you considered seeing a counselor, to just talk things through even? Perhaps you can look to see what LGBT support groups are in your area. Anything positive will help you feel better. Concentrate on the good each day. Little joys like that can help you feel better. Try to find joy in your studies or work as well, if you try to even just smile more I think you will feel a lot better. The future is something you can't worry too much about. Taking time to make yourself feel better will help you see how bright your future is (even if you do not believe me know). I'm glad you came to EC. It is a great place and I hope you find some answers and advice. Have an amazing day, you deserve one!
I used to feel the same way. Honestly, however, you'll find people are much more accepting than they can seem, especially once they realize that someone close to them actually is gay. As for the not accepting ones, I don't really want to have anything to do with them if they would reject anyone for something as simple and unaffecting as orientation. Just relax, ride along life for a bit, and as you get older and more accepting of yourself you will feel much better. You don't have to face any of these challenges until you are ready, and some you don't have to face at all. No friend or anyone in your family besides possibly your parents and siblings have a "right" to know your orientation until you find a husband or life partner, and by then it will be no big deal to you. As you learn to love and yourself, you will find happiness. Peace begins within.
I was in your position. But figuring myself out cost me college. My grades just got too bad. I was focusing on other things. Don't lose focuse! I have come out to all of my friends and everyone accepted me. Just focuse on school, don't lose sight of your goals. Figuring yourself will come in time.
Well there is my sister, but the topic of gay doesn't come easy into our conversations. I do however jave 2 gay friends I could talk to. We've known each other for a while and I've started to talk about a few of my problems I've been facing lately. I guess they'll do.
I love your enthusiasm haha. Just remember, you don't have to talk to anyone until you are ready, but as someone that has been there. It feels a lot nicer when you feel like you're not hiding yourself from the 'entire' world. Speak to your friends, if you want to. If it feels like the right thing to do. But i urge you, do it when you feel ready. And remember, no matter how bad things are looking right now... a little bit of positive thoughts can change your entire outlook! :icon_bigg Plus... we're all here for you.
You're very welcome. Please let us know what you decide and any updates! Also... like i said, I've been where you are... feel free to PM me if you want to talk more.
