Over the years I've spent alot of time just thinking, contemplating what's best for me, and why it is that it takes so much to look for someone who will take the time to understand and love me. This has left my heart saying to me, "be good to me". I have to say that I spend alot of time talking to my heart these days. I understand that, right now, my most important task is, not to land the most amazing guy, but to guide and shepherd my heart. It is so fragile and it needs so much. When I look into myself I see something divine. We all need to see this. When I go to dances for universal peace they encourage us to see the divine in the other people. That's true, you know. In everyone there is something that is very valuable. We are diamonds in the rough. I've thought about the parable that Jesus told about the pearl of great price. He said, "the kindgom of heaven is like this, "a man was going through the market searching for fine jewels. He found a pearl that was very valuable and went and sold everything he had to buy the one pearl." I've spent some time in meditation on this and I believe that it is my heart. In fact everyone's heart is this. Something so valuable, and one day, if I'm patient, a man will come and see the value in it and will be willing to go and sell everything he has to have it. We all have a priceless divine nature in us. See the divine in yourself, and be good to your heart. ---------- Post added 30th Jan 2013 at 05:55 AM ---------- Here are some encouraging quotes that are helping me along this path. "It is the hand that evokes love, and creates a twin soul for every person in the world" Paulo Coelho “The minute I heard my first love story I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.” Rumi "Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” — Rumi
Very good philosophy. I, too, should take that up. Does it really help you? I've recently been thinking about things like this. I've spent many years being so caught up in why no one has been interested in me. Because I think it's so easy for us to bitch bitch bitch bitch. I know I do. It's so tough. It's different than straight folks, I think. For them, it's just about finding someone. (Please, I'm not up for a debate on the sex lives of heterosexual folks.) For us, it's about as many steps as there are in the Great Wall. Thanks for the positivity!
I have really come a long way in the last few years. Not to say that I can't wait until the right guy comes along. However, my heart and I have conversations all the time (I'm not crazy) and it is most afraid that I'm going to be careless with it and jump into something that isn't good. "What you are seeking is seeking you" Rumi There is a teaching by Rumi, who was an islamic philosopher/poet that teaches that when you really want something, it's not just you looking for what you want. It's really that the universe has placed this desire in you, and what you want is actually looking for you too. I apply this to a relationship. I know that there must be some guy out there who is searching for me, like I'm searching for him. Everyone else are just friends.
I'm currently not on speaking terms with my heart, but this thread is making me reconsider a ceasefire.
