Hi, well, i'm new here, and this is my first post. It seems really nice on these forums. The main reason I registered on here was because I have a question that I hoped some of you guys could answer... As of now I am (accidentally) out to some people as gay. However, i'm not sure this is right. Also, this is complicated by the fact that I am also unsure of my gender identity, so, when I mention different sexualities, I mean the gender of the person i'm attracted to in relation to my birth sex. Um, here goes: I'm only physically attracted to the same gender. (By 'physically attracted' I mean that I like the way they look- and not, I don't think, in a sexual way.) I am not sexually attracted to either gender. I'm not sure if I would enjoy sex, but if I did, I think it would be from the physical stimulation, because I liked the person and wanted them to be happy, but not because I was 'turned on' or 'aroused' by them. I think I could be emotionally attracted to either gender. Would I be labelled straight, gay, bisexual, asexual, pansexual, heteroromantic, homoromantic, biromantic, aromantic, panromantic, queer, or something else? Thank-you very much for reading, if you got this far! Any advice/input would be appreciated.
First of all, welcome Lupin! :smilewave I'm no expert on lables but I guess Biromantic fits you well. Would you think it's safe to disregard any form of ______sexual? Also I believe Queer is regarded by many as an umbrella term for all things non heterosexual. So if you really wanted to you could fall back onto that if you fail to decide on anything more specific. I'll spare you the "it's just a label!" mantra and hope that you find the answers you're looking for! (*hug*)
Thanks, that's really helpful! I would rather not use '_____sexual', but it could prove neccessary when filling in forms/surveys, as they usually give you the options: Straight/Gay/Bisexual, without including '_____romantic', which is unfortunate... I'm generally not one for labels really (though I am often labelled), but I was just thinking that, should sexuality come up in some sort of conversation, it would be more handy to have an accepted term to use to describe my sexuality, rather than having to spout at least a paragraph trying to explain, which i'm not very good at. If it means anything to you, I totally respect and agree with your mantra. (*hug*)
Hi, and welcome. Some people questioning their gender or identifying as neither male nor female use "andro-" and "gyne-" when describing their orientation instead of "homo-," and "hetero-," to avoid confusion and/or mention of their birth sex. As far as "accepted terms" go, when it comes to non-binary gender and asexuality, it's all more or less made up on the spot, there isn't much tradition or science behind many of them, nor are they widely known, so prepare to do some explaining anyway. Which isn't as bad as people "knowing" a wrong thing about you. So such a label still might be handy, if not in a way more common ones, like "gay," could be.
After looking up a few definitions, I would say you lean more towards a panromantic. You don't have to put a label on it if you want, the only reason people use labels is to simply things and place people in a box, you don't necessarily have to do the same, but that choice is all yours
i very much disagree with the bolded text above as i know for a fact that the asexual community has many customs and things are NOT just made up on the spot. a lack of scientific founding or public awareness does not make the asexual community's customs, labels or anything else less "real" or valid, which is what you seem to be implying. to the OP, it's impossible for me to say for sure, but you could be either pan or bi romantic as you say you could be romantic/emotional attracted to more than one gender. re: your sexuality, you could be somewhere along the asexual spectrum since you say you only experience aesthetic (it's not really "physical") attraction. may i ask if you've ever been in a relationship? if not, you could be demisexual and never know it until you're in one. on the other hand, if the same applies to being gray-asexual if you're still pretty young. for now, though, perhaps "asexual" would fit best.
You sound like a Biromantic Demisexual (or possibly Asexual) to me. Don't rush to label yourself, though. Demisexual means sexual attraction to someone you are emotionally attracted to, to put it simply. C:
I see your point, and yes, that was a bad word choice. I meant "no strong tradition of their use outside the community." They're as valid as any label but because of that lack of awareness, people without some prior special interest in asexuality (or more unusual gender identities) won't react to them the same way.
I think WeirdnessMagnet is trying to say that non-binary gender and asexuality are relatively obscure as information varies and there is not an abundance of data as of the moment on them. Which is why further explanations are needed as there isn't a definitive niche. ... I think x.x
i understand what you're saying and agree that explanation will be necessary. the same could be said about pansexual or about any number of other labels at some point in time. it takes people being willing to openly use and explain a label for it to gain more public awareness, which is why i frown upon anyone saying or suggesting that they don't or wouldn't use a label just because they'd have to explain it. which i'm not accusing you of doing, it's just i see that done so often and your post made me think of that.
