I HATE my boyfriend's ex girlfriend. I cant stand hearing her name. I've been getting better, but i still think about her a every now and then. She's unattractive, a little on the heavier side (not exactly overweight), she doesn't wear makeup or pluck her eyebrows. She doesn't dress well (sweats or jeans), she doesn't do her hair very often. She has an oval shaped face and talks with a lisp. She's not that smart, and she's really not that fun to hang out with. No, I don't hate her because she's ugly... I hate her because i dont understand WHAT's SO FLIPPING APPEALING ABOUT HER? BACKSTORY: I was in love with my best friend for several years, constantly trying to take our friendship to the next level (while he lead me on..) then he chose her over me. Even worse was that all my friends (including them) were in couples so they would all get together and cuddle. They invited me (the only single person) and i would sit there awkwardly the whole time (eventually i stopped showing up). I finally stopped hating her when she moved 5 states away. Then I moved on to a new guy. We dated a few weeks, but broke up because things were moving too fast. After more time i began to fall for him. very hard. i put myself out there and asked if he still had feelings for me... guess what i find out? HE'S WITH HER! I was heartbroken. And to know about their relationship for the next year, while falling deeper in love with him... It was torture. pure torture. skip ahead to a year later, and he told me they broke up, he kissed me, we got together a month later, we've been together since, all good. NOW: So, TWO guys have chosen her over me, and i just don't understand. I feel like i'm second choice. I'm insecure that my boyfriend still has feelings about her (they were together for like 2 years). I'm insecure that if she comes back to visit again (like this summer possibly) that it will stir up old feelings. I know that after he kissed me (before we we're official) she visited him. She posted a picture of them laying on the couch together- what if he kissed her? like a goodbye kiss? I'm not sure why, but that would just kill me inside... I think i'm more insecure because this has happened more than once. I've had nightmares about her winning him back from me, and i just cant imagine loosing him... I'm so in love with him, i couldn't bare to have to live without him. PLEASE: does anyone have any advise? How do i stop worrying about it? and her? how do i just forgive and forget? just let go? im so sick of hating her...
Don't know if this would be of much help, but it's important to remember: An ex is an ex for a reason - No matter what caused the break-up, they're no longer together. I understand your concerns though. But have you discussed this with him? If he's blissfully unaware of your feelings surrounding this, he won't know how the thought of them even just getting together to hang out as friends, makes you feel. Communication is key. Stay strong (*hug*)
Hi, Feelings shine through even when you try to hide them. How do you think this coat of jealousy and insecurity makes you look? I bet it is in attractive to people who see it. That is a good reason to drop it. Stuck
Thanks guys I was really upset when i wrote this (had a horrible nightmare that set me into a panic). Like i mentioned though, i only think about her every now and then. I sounded really jealous and insecure when i wrote this, but as you can see it was 1am... VelvetBlade- I ended up talking to him about it, and found out that dating her was kind of torturous for him, that he's glad its over. He reassured me that it was over between them, and everything is all good now stuck mistake- To be honest, i really don't think anyone knew how i felt, because i did not feel this was very often. I feel much better now that i talked it over with my boyfriend though
