I just feel somewhat isolated so I apologize for this mini rant. Only joined EC a couple of days ago and love the community. I am a 17 year old female and extremely confused about my sexuality. I would just say at this point that I have managed to accept that I am not straight. My mom works out of the country a lot so most of the time the person who is at home/ is the responsible adult at home is my nanny (or whatever you would call her). This woman effectively raised my two brothers and I. But she is homophobic. She is very religious and was raised in an environment prejudiced against homosexuality. She routinely makes homophobic comments and will not carry on a reasonable conversation when I try to challenge her. I really respect the woman but totally disagree with her views. I cant talk to anyone in my family about what is going on with me because: a) Im not super close with my mom and my brothers all live abroad b) If I did tell any of them, it would find its way (quickly!) back to my nanny Im just confused and I know that she would be trying to reason/ talk me into being straight (i do realize that is nonsense but some people dont understand) and I know our relationship would change. Beyond that, I think she would be against me being a lesbian, let alone bisexual because she wouldnt understand. The only positive is that if anything comes out I am not financially dependent on her but it is still hard. Argh... Anyway, thanks for any input you can offer or even just for taking a look at my post. I know I wrote a lot but just needed to vent a little.
Hi there and welcome to EC. You know, if you were to bring this up with your mom, it wouldn't have to get back to your nanny. I'm sure your mom keeps some things in her life person and doesn't share them with your nanny, so this could be one of those things. It's unfortunate that your mom didn't hire someone who shared her values - given this person was left responsible for raising her children for her. In the mean time, just keep hanging out here and getting more and more comfortable with the fact that you're not straight. The better you feel about it, the better you'll be able to cope with and respond to those conversations where someone is intent on making you straight.
Thanks for your reply. I honestly really respect the woman even if she doesnt share all of the same values as our family. I guess I just worry about her reaction. To be honest, I dont think I would share it with my mom either way, at least not until I am completely sure with everything Appreciate the support, I will continue to hang around EC for sure
