Ok so I'm a 22 year old guy who is completely straight acting. All my friends are straight and think the same about me. I have been with a few girls and have had sex with a few of them, although, I have done this simply for two reasons: 1: So my friends will not think I'm gay and 2: To try and prove to myself that I am in fact straight. Each time I have done it i have nearly always had to think of a guy to "perform" and I am happier when it is over. I have also had sex with a couple of men and have always enjoyed this so much more, and in these cases I have been fully up for it, but afterwards I feel so guilty (I dont know why) Anyway to make my point I have finally realised (95%) that I'm gay but I am so worried about coming out, Im not to worried about my family as although they will be shocked I know they will be supportive. My friends on the other hand, some would be perfectly fine but I know others would not be, and these are my closest friends and again they would be shocked if I told them. The other thing is im only into older men (30-55) and again people will think this is very weird, any advice/opinions appreciated!
You come out when you feel comfortable. At least, you know what you like as you have experimented with both sexes.
Wow, you sound a lot like me in some ways. Anyway, if you are ready to come out and live more authentically, then do it. You get to choose who knows and who doesn't. If there are some friends that you feel very comfortable with and know will take the news well, then you can tell them. If there are others that might not be as accepting, then I wouldn't really bother with it unless they personally come up and ask you. That is basically how I do things in regards to friends. As for feeling guilty after sex with another guy, that is pretty normal, especially for someone who is still closeted. I assume most of the time it is just casual hookups? Also something else that plays a little bit into the guilt is how society makes us feel as if not only casual sex is wrong, but gay sex itself is looked down upon as well so we feel gross and dirty about doing the act after the "high" of the sexual situation has worn off, usually after orgasm. A feeling of guilt might also come from how you feel others would view/think of you if they knew what you were doing(even though it's no ones business of course). And to add onto that, the feeling of living a "secret" life can bring up guilt as well.
