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Fancy my best friend, but nobody knows I'm a lesbian so I don't know what to do...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by confusedfeeling, Jan 31, 2013.

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How should I come out to my friends?

Poll closed Mar 2, 2013.

  1. pluck up the courage and tell everyone- dive in

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%

  2. tell individuals one at a time- take it slow

    6 vote(s)
    60.0%

  3. only tell the person I fancy

    2 vote(s)
    20.0%

  4. only tell my closest friends

    2 vote(s)
    20.0%
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  1. confusedfeeling

    confusedfeeling
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    I am recently realising that I am madly attracted to girls; its as if I have been into girls all my life, and it has only just wiplashed me now... I sort of crazy fancy one of my closest friends and all I want to do is kiss her or hold her! ... But thats a big problem because she doesn't know I am a lesbian... and she is straight. (and no one else knows I'm a lesbian either) Thing is, sometimes when I'm with her, I get the feeling she likes me- and not in a friend way... sometimes I feel like she is a lesbian, deeper in a closet than I am, just because of the way we talk- it is really frustrating, but we laugh and talk and text all the time and we find each other hilarious! But I simply can't tell her because it would totally ruin our relationship. I need help, support, advice-- just whatever people can give me! I am really scared of coming out to people what to do????....

    lol though: me and her, we spooned before, because she wanted me to spoon her... it was really nice ... and that night was just even more reason for me to believe she is a lesbian! LOL!
     
    #1 confusedfeeling, Jan 31, 2013
  2. jadakiss97

    jadakiss97
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    Re: Fancy my best friend, but nobody knows I'm a lesbian so I don't know what to do..

    Go for it. Sit down with your friend and take a risk, granted it is a big one. I've been in this situation in 8th grade and three years later, I'm still with her. I am so glad I told her even if she wasn't sure if she liked me at the time, she ended up falling in love with me. If she doesn't like you in that way right now give it time or move on. But if she's that good of a friend she won't leave her girl behind no matter what.
     
    #2 jadakiss97, Jan 31, 2013
  3. Kay

    Kay Guest

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    Re: Fancy my best friend, but nobody knows I'm a lesbian so I don't know what to do..

    I just gave this advice to someone else. You might try telling her how you feel. If she says she has no feelings for you in a romantic way you continue to be friends. I would do just that.
     
    #3 Kay, Jan 31, 2013
  4. Ianthe

    Ianthe
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    Re: Fancy my best friend, but nobody knows I'm a lesbian so I don't know what to do..

    My advice for coming out is always to start with just one person--someone safe, who you know will accept you. Ideally NOT the girl you like, as the first person you tell. I'm not saying you shouldn't tell her, just that your first coming out experience should not be mixed up in you making romantic overtures. The first time you come out to someone, you have enough emotional investment in that conversation without also needing the other person to return your romantic feelings. You really want the first time you come out to be as good an experience as possible, because it will help you to gain confidence.

    Do you know anyone who is gay, or who is a vocal supporter of LGBT rights?
     
    #4 Ianthe, Feb 1, 2013
  5. confusedfeeling

    confusedfeeling
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    Re: Fancy my best friend, but nobody knows I'm a lesbian so I don't know what to do..

    thats reassuring for the future, i posted this a while ago, I have told her since and she is still my best friend but is definitely straight which is depressing, but I'm just glad she is still here for me, even if its not in the way I wished it to be.
    Thankyou for your reply. :slight_smile:

    ---------- Post added 7th Mar 2013 at 12:10 AM ----------
    Yeh, that's what happened since I posted this, we are still very close friends, thankyou for your reply :slight_smile:

    ---------- Post added 7th Mar 2013 at 12:14 AM ----------
    thankyou for the reply, yes, I agree, but it has been a while since I posted this and a lot has happened in a while.
    I told my step brother first, then my step sister, they are both older than me and are still hear for me and I love them a lot. Then I told my best friend I was a lesbian, but not that I fancied her, about 3 days after that I came out completely by telling her I loved her and she said she was straight but still hear for me.
    Its not ideal, but what is? I'm just happy she is my friend
     
    #5 confusedfeeling, Mar 7, 2013
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