Hi please help me I need advise I met a guy last June he is 20 We very quickly became best friends and still are we do every thing tougher One night about a month after we met we were walking home from the pub Drunk We stopped at the park for a smoke we were frezzing so we snuggled up To keep warm then he said I gave him the horn I was. A bit shocked But he said things before and I had an inckling he was gay but I'm not out so I didn't think much of it he he said stuff before just took it as drunk talk ANyway We gave each other a blow job and he wanted me to come in he's mouth and I did after we Had a little kiss and we walked home are seperate ways the next day either of us mentioned it but since then we have been doin the same thing nealy every week end we have spent the night tougher 3 times in the morning there is no mention. Of. It but the problem is I have fell in love with him deeply but he is alway so desperate for a girl friend and had been with girls since how treat him like shit but it never lasts with them more than a week All are friends say that he's gay for me and they all think we're straight They say he stares at me constantly and he copy's the way I talk my actions every thing He tell me he loves me to when he's drunk but sober nothing but it like he don't care but I know he does he is so protective of me he wants to be with me all the time if I ask him when he's sober nothing but drunk he only want me I just don't unterstand him Last week end I told him I want more I asked him if he was gay he said he dunno what he is I have asked him today to be with me but he said he just want to be friends I'm so confused by him he's never denies he's gay it's when we're alone he is he's self but he will never talk about it please help me I'm so confused by him the girlfriend wanting the sex with me the I love yous r friend all thinking he is gay for me the calls the texts I'm 27 and never been more confused in my life please help me with advise I love him so much
OK, it sounds like both of you are in denial. Your choice of "straight but curious" in the orientation field is the first sign of this. Let's get this out there: both of you are gay. You just need time to accept it. If you asked him if he was gay and he didn't quickly yell "NO!" then it's a sure sign that he is coming around to the idea that he may be gay. "I dunno" is definitely a first step. It sounds like you haven't actually ever confronted the issue and told him that you're gay. You need to do this. You need to be direct with him. And then, you need to take a few days and tell him that you think both of you need some space and some time to think about your what this means for your relationship. Tell him that you can't be without him, but you're not sure that being friends with him is enough. If you do everything together, this will probably make him realise how much he needs you, because it sounds like he really does. But he is only twenty — seven years younger than you, so he probably doesn't have the same emotional maturity or life experience that comes with those extra seven years. By you talking about your sexuality to him, I'm hoping that it will hit him in the face and encourage him to think about his own sexuality. I know you say you're confused, but from my third-party perspective, I don't think there is much to be confused about. He clearly is in love with you. Someone doesn't ask you to come in their mouth if firstly: they're straight, and secondly if you're best friends and he's not gay. You shouldn't be confused; he's the one who is confused and in denial. He desperately wants a girlfriend because although he loves you, he so badly wants to be straight. It may take a while for him to come to terms with being gay and in love with you, and that's why you need to give him maybe a few weeks of space and separation. He most likely won't be able to cope with being away from you, and will be forced into acknowledging and beginning to accept his sexuality.
Thank you so much twomethed that is really good advise as a but he knows I love him I he knows I'm gay for him I ask for a break away all the time but it never seems to happen he will call or text to see if I wanna go to the gym or something we are a couple until I mention the (US) word or I want more from him and he say he wants to just be best friends but everything else tells me otherwise I'm goin 2 back off and give him time is that what you think I should do ? Thanks
Yes, you need to be really direct: tell him you need a few weeks to think about your relationship together and your own sexuality and tell him that you would prefer if he didn't contact you until you both have had time to think. If he calls or texts, don't reply directly. Wait a few days and say you still need some space. If you're as close as it sounds, he will be forced into coming to terms with whatever he feels for you.
